The History of the UnderGround Church

I've Moved!

2006-04-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

If anyone reads this, please note that I've moved my blogging site to www.themissionalchurch.org

You'll find Steve's blog page link there as well.

See you there :)

PULLING TEETH

2006-02-07T11:37:00.000-08:00

My granddaughter Angel, is losing teeth. Right now when she smiles, she's got these huge adorable gaps and she talks funny. She has no problem pulling the loose ones out...in fact, she's got the whole process down to a science.

I think I'm figuring out why some things in life are so HARD TO DO! But rather than going into the mastery of such things, let it be said that I'm just moving forward and DOING THEM! And each time, it gets a little easier.

We've met twice now, our Underground gatherers...in our home around the fireplace, looking closely at the book of Acts. Steve is a better teacher than I even remember. We've taken communion together already and are maintaining an evergrowing prayer list.

No music yet...the group is too small and we'd all feel self-conscious. But no big deal. Last Sunday night we got a reasonably good dose of funny Superbowl commercials and allowed the Steelers to move into the lead, then we retired to the living room for serious stuff.

The passion for this has been taken over by Steve, who sees a future and a present for all good things. At this point, I feel like I'm in his sidecar. But since I've trusted him in airplanes and on the back of motorcycles, he's probably fairly trustworthy in this endeavor. (smile)

Was sent the most wonderful link to REVOLUTION through a comment on this blog. http://media.24-7prayer.org/thevision/index.html Please visit the link, you won't be disappointed.

Stay in touch, all.
ME

It's Here

2006-01-05T10:42:00.000-08:00

I don't know why it's been so difficult for me to approach my blogging space...weeks since I've last posted and perhaps it's because I inwardly FEAR the beginning of something so much bigger than me and out of my control.
At any rate, Steve is moving forward full steam ahead...with or without me!

Omaha's Underground Church will begin meeting this month, January, 2006. We've found several places that have piqued our curiosity as potential meeting locations; however to start the ball rolling we're doing it the Acts way. We'll begin by meeting in our home.

If you're in Omaha and would like to join us, you're invited. Contact me at my email or on this blog and I'll give you directions. Sunday evening, 6:00 PM on January 29th at my place.

We'd start earlier in the month but Steve and I both will be out of town on opposite weekends, so this was the best we could do. Gives me a chance to pull down the Christmas tree and make room for you!

If you have children, let me know. I have room in the basement recently remodeled where the kids can play and make quiet noise. Or I can help with finding baby sitters.

Just like the NT churches, we'll have food and drink. We'll talk, laugh, pray and plan. We'll challenge one another to bigger and better things and we'll take peeks into the book of Acts. Mostly, we'll seek God's direction for the future of such a gathering.

It's Coming!

2005-11-23T06:07:00.000-08:00

The Old and the New
Excitement builds and feels great. We are continually devoting ourselves to prayer and Bible Study, and the time has come to extend an invitation to you.

Beginning in January Steve and I are inviting anyone who reads this blog and lives within driving distance to Omaha, to join us weekly for a time of seeking the mind of God.

We've talked and prayed together a great deal for this, and while I had outlines and agendas coming out the wahzoo, Steve challenged me to let the Spirit be our guide.

Which is so coincidental, since the discipline I'm presently meditating upon is the corporate discipline of "Guidance." Richard Foster, writing in the book I hate (Celebration of Discipline) relates an ongoing experience that holds validity.

"A concept...has been pioneered by the Church of the Saviour in Washington DC. When any member feels that God has led him or her to establish a particular mission group or to venture into a special area of service, they "sound the call." This is done at the conclusion of a worship service when the member shares the vision that he or she senses. Afterward, all who want to are welcome to meet with the person to "test the call." Together they probe the issue, praying, questioning, searching. Sometimes there is a sense that the idea was the product of false enthusiasm, and it is abandoned. At other times it is confirmed by the prayers and interaction of the group. Perhaps others in the room are drawn into the call and make it their own. Thus a "company of the committed" is formed."

Hence the invitation. 2006 will mark a time of seeking God regarding Omaha's Underground Church. If it should happen, what it will look like, who will have a hand in it's establishment.

If interested, please email me StTrudi316@aol.com or leave a comment on this blog. I'll give you info regarding date, time and location. If you are too far away to attend, please let us know that you are joining us in prayer for GUIDANCE. And, I'll keep updates going right here.

Blessings.

Cognitive Dissonance

2005-11-18T06:45:00.000-08:00

Cognitive dissonance is a state of opposition between cognitions. For the purpose of cognitive consistency theory, cognitions are defined as being an attitude, emotion, belief or value, although more recent theories, such as ecological cognition suggest that they can also be a goal, plan, or an interest. In brief, the theory of cognitive dissonance holds that contradicting cognitions serve as a driving force that compels the human mind to acquire or invent new thoughts or beliefs, or to modify existing beliefs, so as to minimize the amount of dissonance (conflict) between cognitions.

Cognitive Dissonance...I love this. I sum it up by rewriting the definition: "Two idiots arguing with each other concerning subjects about which they haven't a clue. To put more bite in their arguments, they make things up as they go along." (Which is why alot of people ought to have their lips permanently sewed together and just be fed through their nostrils).

I have not participated in such drama. I don't make things up in an argument or create a "straw thing", attribute it to the other side and proceed to shred it, one straw at a time. I don't do this because I am not bright enough and my mind does not think FAST ENOUGH. I would LOVE to do it if I could however, which is why God made certain I wouldn't have the brain capacity to do so. The more serious side of CD is a geniune effort made to "minimize the amount of dissonance" between COGNITIONS. Another way to minimize the amount of dissonance is to quit arguing with me so much.

I love DILBERT. Actually, I think I'm in love with Dilbert's creator. I would probably vote him in as President of the United States if given the opportunity. Which tells you how much I fail to understand about the importance of such a position...nevertheless, heart gets in the way of mind. Or in my case, my heart is SO MUCH BIGGER than my mind. I can say that about myself. You, however, cannot.

Reading Scott Adam's blog (about cognitive dissonance and other stuff) makes me laugh out loud, deep and noisy, with head thrown back and mouth gaping open. And laughing like that makes for excellent digestion...so I'm always looking for opportunities to eat and laugh. (I like to do this in front of people, with food still dangling from my teeth and tongue, and talking about "see" food.) Scott gave birth to Dilbert, you see, and Scott rambles on about nonsensical things in such a random way that one might consider using him as an example of the lack of a designer/creator.

You see, on my walk to work today I asked God specifically and selfishly to help me have a FUN day. I'm on my own because Steve has to head out of town, so it's going to be harder for sure. But I want to, I NEED to have FUN. So prayed that prayer, got to my office and checked my eamil. What is waiting for me?

Dilbert's blessed newsletter.

A Holy Expectancy

2005-11-15T06:22:00.000-08:00

Picture courtesy of www.freefoto.com Thinking about where He is, and focusing on the settings that draw me into a quiet expectance, awaiting His entry into my presence. Or perhaps should I say, His permission for me to enter HIS PRESENCE.

And learning more and more about Hebrews 4:16...let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

When are we NOT experiencing a time of need?

We are invited to APPROACH. How do you approach a king sitting upon a throne? Probably with humility, recognizing the King for who He is; with timidity or fear, understanding a little bit about His awesomeness; perhaps with geniune adoration because we've reached a place in our lives where we've fallen head-over-heels in love with Him...I don't know, just some thoughts.

But we're invited to approach the throne with CONFIDENCE; with expectancy, with undeniable faith that God WILL HANDLE IT.

Enter His Courts

2005-11-14T08:06:00.000-08:00

New ways of doing things? Richard Foster (yes, I'm still reading the Celebration and Discipline and as painful as it is to admit, learning things from the book) points out that the issue is not and never has been high or low church liturgy, music preferences or forms of worship.

"A striking feature of worship in the Bible is that people gathered in what we could only call a HOLY EXPECTANCY. They believed they would actually hear the KOL YAHWEH, the voice of God. When Moses went into the Tabernacle, he knew he was entering the presence of God. The same was true of the early Church. IT WAS NOT SURPRISING TO THEM THAT THE BUILDING IN WHICH THEY MET SHOOK WITH THE POWER OF GOD."

Man, that is true expectancy. Saturday night we had a Second Mile Rider's meeting...our local chapter of CMA, Christian Motorcycle's Association. http://www.secondmileriders.com One guy, we affectionally call him "murph", shared about his mission trip to Paraguay to give away small 125cc motorcycles to needy pastors. Just the way he shared the experience, the way he spoke of his God, the way he identified with the purpose of the Savior, was very powerful and moving. We all felt the POWER OF GOD as Murph spoke of the things of Christ.

Teens and young adults (generally speaking) aren't finding God in traditional God-Houses. They are finding Him on websites and blogs, in coffee shops, in people's homes and in very personal inter-relationships. To open new doors for God-closeness is the key. Opportunities for interactive worship...not just staring at the talking head in the front of the room. Interactive communion, prayers, praise, kneeling, hand-raising, crafting, all within the same physical confines and perhaps even happening simultaneously...I don't know, just ideas.

Anyhow, there are some teens near and dear to my heart these days. Stevie, girlfriend Virginia and her friend (Virginia's the brunette), Justin, and Andrew...interesting and talented people.
Stevie's band has been playing around Omaha in various venues and they're thoroughly enjoying themselves. The unspoken plan is to corral them into some serious God-music somewhere down the road.

Kimber

2005-11-09T10:39:00.000-08:00

If you didn't read my previous blog or the comments (say what?) from Sharon, please be sure to glance through. Some good theological stuff which should resurface here again. I'm not going to respond at length...suffice it to say that while I don't think FOR A RED MINUTE that God chooses who will be in heaven, I do believe that God chooses people for service. Sharon, I'm sorry I didn't respond earlier...too much going on in the last week. I loved your comments and hope you'll continue to feel free about leaving them.

Finished my third seminary class...Formation for Christian Ministry. Was challenged to rethink the whole "calling" idea, especially in relation to ME. I've decided to pursue licensing toward ordination. Doing this one step at a time is much easier than just deciding to become a pastor. Which I've kind of already decided, but the step by step process is easier to handle and lets me see some progress. I'm the type of person that will quit half way through anything. It's hard to quit this however, because people are holding me accountable. Have only one more assignment to do and since this class (the one and only) is pass/fail, I know I've done ok.

After Saturday's class I hopped a plane to Abilene via Denver, and spent not quite three days with Bethany and Kimber. It was Beth's one year anniversary since the homegoing of Chad Inserra, and the three of us spent the specific hours in question lingering over drinks at a little cafe in downtown Fort Worth. It was during this weekend that Kimber pointed out I should really write more about her. So this blog entry is devoted to my third daughter Kimberly Cummings.

Kimberly, third from left in the horse picture, and on the left in the top shot, is Beth's best friend. They met in 9th grade at North High in Omaha, and bonded through the years, experiences and Jesus. Kimber loves God, and recognizes His calling in her life. I don't think I've ever met anyone quite as open to spiritual truth as Kimber...she reminds me of myself as a highschooler. I remember devouring the words of my youth leader as though they were straight out of the mouth of God, and Kimber is that hungry for truth...I think that's why we bond. We've spent good times talking about God on my waterbed and drawing pictures for each other.

Kimber has experienced the pain and shock of death and has her own stories to tell, as well as sharing loss with Beth during high school. Experiences like that draw friends close and these two have walked through the valley together more than once. And last year when tragedy touched our lives with Beth, we called Kimber and she was on a plane in a matter of hours to be at Beth's bedside. Today Kimber walks beside Beth as the stronger one, providing abundant support and encouragement. Kimber is the answer to Steve and my prayers at this time in Beth's life.

Kimber is a psychology major, a senior at Hardin Simmons University. She is eagerly looking forward to graduation and the pursuit of a masters in the same. She rides a Ninja (sportbike), horses, and is training for a half-marathon coming up in Dallas in a month or two.

Kimber, I love you.

True Companion

2005-10-23T04:31:00.000-07:00

Steve and I are approaching our 28th wedding anniversary, January 2nd. We joke about having a second honeymoon (when the first one finally ends) but part of that is reality. Yesterday we spent the entire day together, as we do on most weekends when he's in town. Drove to Lincoln for his meeting...I hung out at the mall while he did his thing. On the way there and back we did what we usually do: we discussed theology and church planting (conversation interspersed with the latest offspring observations). We bounced ideas around and in these verbal explorations discovered things.

My seminary education has thus far taken me way out of my comfortable box of theology, my belief system that has always fit so well, like a great tennis shoe with a thousand miles on it. Now I'm challenged to accept (or at the very least, tolerate) things that would have been unthinkable before. Probably the biggest challenge for me is the whole "women in ministry" thing.

Regardless, I've accepted that I'm called of God to pastor in some way, shape or form. But the need to rethink such Pauline epistles touching on the subject of women in ministry has driven me to consider why one can't rethink other subjects as well.

And so my latest rethinking is way off the wall. Steve brought me back to earth a little bit, but I need to write it all out and let you (and me) chew on it.

Who is really a Christian, and what does God require of a person in order to become one of His? No this is not a faith vs works question, just hold on. I wondered out loud if God sort of "changed" His requirements, or at the very least, broadened them somewhat, to enable people to be reborn without all the revelation He might provide to someone in America.

For example, the short person in New Guinea. He looks at creation (part of God's revelation) and decides that there has to be a Creator and longs to know who that Creator is and what that Creator might have to do with him. But suddenly and unbeknownst to the pygmy, a huge tornado appears from over the far east mountain and wipes out all vegetation and life for three miles, including him. Wouldn't that fellow have received the HS and gone to be with his Savior?

Steve reminded me of scripture: The book of John, "he that has the son has life, he that doesn't have the son doesn't have life", "I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes to the Father but by me", the book of Acts, "there is no other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved", the book of Philippians, "and be found in Him (Christ is clearly the "him" in this passage)not having my own righteousness which is of the law...blah, blah, blah", and so on, and so on. You get the idea.

HOWEVER, as we all know, the name of Jesus was never even uttered in the pages of our OT books. Yet people looked to the light that had been revealed thus far and believed and were saved.

Steve wondered if the primary benefit from believing this way would alleviate the need to translate and transport the Gospel message to the "ends of the earth." Then, what about Acts 1:8... and Matt 28, the Great Commission?

I need to deal with this because there are people teaching me and learning with me who believe differently from me. I don't for a minute think I have the right to excavate their lives to determine if the HS resides somewhere in there. But they put Him right out there for me to see! It has to be Him living within them. I know what He looks like, I'd recognize Him in a crowd, and He is there, believe me!

Yet these people find salvation differently than I. Some believe that Jewish persons rejecting the Messiah are still part of God's family and heaven bound.

I've always rejected the approach of determining and evaluating the truthfulness of scripture by experience. Yet the experiences I'm having in my life today are causing me to find pebbles in my comfortable tennis shoe, and are forcing me to revisit all that I've so firmly held onto throughout these years.

When push comes to shove, I'll always present Christ and Him crucified as the door through which one enteres to join the heavenly family. Staying grounded while exploring new ideas and ways of thinking is significant, but also implies that one isn't really exploring new ideas at all. I'll listen and let the stuff rattle around in my head for a few minutes, then dismiss it.

Steve is so much fun in all of this. I say things that are wild and shocking and he laughs and says, "now don't say that out loud anywhere...let's think this through to its logical conclusion" (based on what we already know, there's your groundedness again)...and he really does bring to the discussion arguments that I can't ignore.

To chase a rabbit...

It's really true about "saying that out loud." I took a Bible study class that I was teaching to a homeless shelter to lead a Chapel service. Each one of the members of the class got up and shared a testimony, we led some songs and I wrapped things up with the Gospel presentation. But somewhere in the discourse I said the word "dammit". You have to understand that our audience was a room full of MEN who were HOMELESS. The other issue is that one of our Bible study members (a male) said a much harder cuss word in his testimony; I figured that my word would distract the audience from his? or protect him, or whatever. This audience wasn't going to be offended by the word; if anything, I figured it would make a better connection.

THREE MONTHS LATER, I'm not making this up, one of the volunteer managers from the shelter called me. Rather than ever thanking our group for volunteering, she said that one of the "workers" (not shelter dwellers) was offended because someone in our group said the word "dammit".

OH PLEASE. But I guess I do need to be careful about what I utter Out Loud. Maybe that's why I envy ManCow.

Steve laughed about that instance too. He goes to the mission every month and leads a chapel service, bringing with him a group of guys on motorcycles. Last month he BEGGED me to bring my guitar and lead some music. He didn't even tell me to be careful not to cuss.

What a sounding board. I'm so lucky to have him.

The Future Church

2005-10-20T06:27:00.000-07:00

Very controlled website with such skyward philosophies that some who need to feel solid ground beneath their feet won't like the verbiage. However, good discussion on the message board regarding "postmodern"; both the term and ideas about what it might refer to (if anything).

Steve gets the e-mailed updates from the website and shoots them in my direction weekly. He's back in town and last night we went out for drink, food and talk. Covered all three in a restaurant setting. I get his full attention this way, and unlike me and my ADHD friends, he can retain a high level of extended-time FOCUS.

He spent the last three days at a Pastor's Retreat at Camp Merrilllll. (key stuck) Shared with me bits and pieces of stuff he learned, things that were said, what he did. He went four-wheeling and found a buried wagon somewhere in the acreage that had to be from the late 1800's.

He asked me about my latest church thoughts. I've decided, based only on grandchildren and location, to attend Benson. (Benson is the one that needs to update their website and give heads up to people whose kids are too young to participate in stuff.)

I'm not going to move my membership over; that demands involvement and I'm not interested in that. If involvement where the criteria (personal involvement, you understand) it would be Kevin and Mel's church. For one reason: a real openness to change.

I loved Glenn's church, Judson. Good people. But the fit for me is not quite right and the drive is agonizing. Judson has people who are qualified and know it. I don't think I could initiate change there...and I feel like I'm a change agent.

So the church shopping thing is over for now. I hated it but learned through the process. Will continue to visit churches in the area that claim to be "emergent" or whatever, and evaluate for the future. But at least this piece is settled.

2005-10-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

Here's a good example of why I believe there is a HUGE need to rethink the organized church.

I've visited a local church twice now. My criteria is simple: my granddaughters. This particular church, out of the three I've visited over the last few months, offers a nice program on Sunday AM for the girls as well as something for Wednesday nights, which happens to begin tonight.

A couple of things have occured. First, I visited their website and saw that they had a Wed night program, so two Weds ago I bopped on over there with the girls. Walked in and people stared at me like I had antenna floating out of the top of my head. I was informed that there was no program...it didn't start for two weeks, didn't I know that? No, the Website didn't indicate anything like that. Come next Wed night to a Hay ride and weenie roast for signing up, they encouraged me.

OK, not a problem. We went home and carved pumpkins. Next Wed, I discovered that the party was located somewhere other than the church and made a beeline with girls in tow. Had a very fun time and signed the girls up. Attended church this past Sunday, all is going well. Planning on Wed.

Get a phone call at work yesterday from someone in the Wed children's program. Oh by the way, was I aware that Jazzy won't be able to participate until she turns four? (Jazzy will be four in Dec). Well, no, I wasn't aware. And Angel and Jazzy generally do stuff together, we've been preparing, planning and expecting to do this together and Jazzy will flip out if her sister gets to go and she doesn't.

However, I'm told, if I stay and attend the Pastor's Bible study, they'll go ahead and keep her.

Now I'm a hostage. I was planning to do that anyway, but occasionally was hoping Bonnie would drop off the girls. Since there is no way Bonnie will hang around, what will we do with Jazzy?

And why didn't someone tell me this before? And why can't rules be guidelines?

I'm a functioning christian and I'm a little disturbed. What about the newbie single mom looking for a church home? Help us out a little, people!

Just for the record, I'm gonna go and be good about the whole thing. :)

OK, so I did go, and left Jazzy with her mother, dropped Angel off and went out with hubby. Angel said, upon our return, "I don't feel comfortable here". This is from a six year old.

We won't give up that easily however. Next week I'll stay for the Bible study and have Jazzy in tow. Angel will make friends and all will be well with the world.

I have so much more to say, so I'll wrap this entry and start a new one.
Blessings

The River

2005-10-17T08:25:00.000-07:00

I visited The River, a church that's approximately one month old meeting in a music venue (The Rock) down in Papillion (30 minutes from my house).

Was hoping for more than your typical church experience and was disappointed.

The setting was reasonable...dark room with full stage and lighting, theater style set-up, excellent worship band with very alternative rock sounds and experiences. Thematic program focused on...you guessed it...the talking head. Only in this case, two talking male heads.

Last night's theme was "hypocrisy" and was well supported by cute theatrical video clips, most of which were produced by the church members (pastor and video friend) themselves. No Bibles, but the Bible was quoted and referred to often, and substantively.

Very fundamental, even a non-church goer would have discerned that.

The purpose of the two heads, I guess, was to simulate dialogue. Much in the same way two disc-jockeys would work, these two guys worked...both self-proclaimed pastors talking about experiences they'd witnessed in the past relating to hypocrisy.

Went way too long, one hour and 20 minutes later, no wrap up in sight. When the call finally came indicating the end, (just like a church service, invitation and all), I tiptoed out into the night air and exhaled.

Way too churchy for me, but I sure do applaud all the efforts that are going into this progam.

More on Revolution

2005-10-15T03:57:00.000-07:00

"Entering into incarnational community—Living a holistic gospel in a fragmented world--Seeing God’s work everywhere//not such a harsh divide between sacred/secular--Christianity is essentially about incarnation!--Because the world is forever changing, traditions become a hindrance when they obviate incarnational ministry"
Some of Theofragen's notes on a message offered by Chris Seay in Atlanta last week.
Perhaps that's what is bothering me about Foster's book...he draws such a thick line between secularism and that which is sacred sometimes. He'd frown on the music of the likes of Blue October, yet I know that God allows Himself to be found in amazingly dark places.
Anyhow, check out this guy's website for more offerings on christianity in the world of tomorrow, happening today.

Handsome Devil

2005-10-15T03:30:00.000-07:00

Happy kid, went out riding the four-wheeler with his dad and a friend. Took the camera and several hundred shots to uncover that one great pose which he'll submit to the yearbook for Senior pics. (I tell you, the way we respond to and guide Stevie is SO DIFFERENT from Bonnie and even Bethany. He recognizes the freedom he has and the trust we place in him. But we see a struggle going on inside and just try to guide him through it without smothering...)

I remember my senior yearbook pictures. All the girls looked identical. We pulled the shirts off our shoulders and draped a black thingie around us for a headshot. Similar dorky hairdoos, and faces posed just like this, with head tilted and chins down, glasses off, if you wore them, because no one knew how to deal with light reflections.
When I look back through the yearbook I can't find myself because I'm swimming in a sea of black thingies with the same brownish hair.

Regarding dreams: Beth's been having some doosies. She dreams of walking dead people, of hacked up bodies, and the people still finding ways to remain alive and talk to her, of girls shooting themselves in the head and falling out of windows. Post traumatic stress, I tell her, and please find someone and start therapy. I'm flying down there on November 6th, the anniversary of Chad's death, and she's already got the weekend planned. We'll spend the entire time LAUGHING!

Heard of Blue October? coming to Omaha November 5th to Sokol Theatre.
These guys are vivid and somewhat cruel. If they weren't corrupted by drugs and alcohol they'd actually have a fair offering to present to the world. Songs about abuse, mental anguish and pain, without the hope that we can find in Christ. Somebody please introduce them to JESUS! Beth has met Justin, lead singer, and while she prays for an opportunity to light his path, I pray for his quick exit out of her life. Sharon, these are pens that dwell on guilt and misery for sure.
Blue October's latest offering is called Foiled, not out in stores yet, but soon to be released. The thing is, their lyrics so APTLY DESCRIBE lots of lives out there coupled with alternative sounds...it's attractive because "somebody else feels my pain". Now, let's take this clarity of understanding a step further...to the cross where hope is waiting. John 14:27 May I quote for you? Good News says "Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. (Jesus talking to those He loved, you and me included) I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid." He has come to give life and the abundant kind! Let's partake of that, shall we?

A Revolutionary, or a rebel?

2005-10-13T03:57:00.000-07:00

George Barna's new book has some interesting stuff about the changes occurring in traditional Christianity. He claims that while "traditional church participation in activities such as worship attendance, Sunday school, prayer, and Bible reading have remained relative unchanged during the past twenty years, the Revolutionary faith movement is growing rapidly." I'm pulling the quotations from his website...link provided. He goes on to explain that a "revolutionary" is a person less interested in ATTENDING church and more interested in BEING church. This is exciting stuff, people!

The knee-jerk mental pictorial assigned to a revolutionary tends toward the noted subversive tunnel-visioned soul who isn't afraid to sacrifice himself or those around him for THE CAUSE. I think back to the 60's, tv images and radio broadcasts and my parents who didn't understand and didn't care to. My Jr. high chorus teacher was engaged to be married to a daring soul who chose to wait out the Vietnam war in worlds north of here. Whatever, there is still a good solid side to the idea of a revolutionary, and like anything else in this world, it can be abused, misused, or not used at all, and what a waste that would be. Surely God gifted his people with revolutionaries...couldn't that be an apt description of some of our 19th century missionaries braving worlds unknown to carry the Gospel message?

Barna addresses the church dropouts, noting that while there will always be those who abandon church because of the typical reasons...and abandon their own spirituality as well, there are more and more hungry believers in search of more GOD than their traditional church seems to offer.

"That [numerical] growth is fueling alternative forms of organized spirituality, as well as individualized faith experience and expression. Examples of these new approaches include involvement in a house church, participation in marketplace ministries, use of the Internet to satisfy various faith-related needs or interests, and the development of unique and intense connections with other people who are deeply committed to their pursuit of God."

More...

How do most Revolutionaries justify calling themselves devoted disciples of Christ while distancing themselves from a local church? “Many of them realize that someday they will stand before a holy God who will examine their devotion to Him. They could take the safe and easy route of staying in a local church and doing the expected programs and practices, but they also recognize that they will not be able to use a lackluster church experience as an excuse for a mediocre or unfulfilled spiritual life. Their spiritual depth is not the responsibility of a local church; it is their own responsibility. As a result, they decide to either get into a local church that enhances their zeal for God or else they create alternatives that ignite such a life of obedience and service. In essence, these are people who have stopped going to church so they can be the Church.”

BE THE CHURCH. Don't you just love the sound of that? Christ on earth was the light of the the world. He left us with a part of Himself which continues to shine wherever we go. We are the church regardless of our own ability to recognize such ownership, but how much more exciting to take hold of that reality and BE THE CHURCH?

Probably the most electrifying result (from my perspective) is in the challenges faced by those in (or preparing to be in_) some form of spiritual leadership.

"The explosion of Revolutionaries in the U.S., however, raises new challenges for people involved in ministry. “This new movement of God demands that there be new forms of leadership to appropriately guide people in their faith journey,” Barna said. “It requires new ways of measuring how well the Church at-large is doing, getting beyond attendance figures as the indicator of health. And it demands that new tools and resources be accessible to a growing contingent of people who are seeking to introduce their faith into every dimension of their life.”

Abandonment of one's faith in a local gathering is usually painful and often dangerous. This is not a suggestion to leave, but rather to cleave to other possibilities and broaden one's own spiritual walk to include places and people that might not typically fit the profile you're used to. Learning to find God in places you normally (?) wouldn't look.

Not rebelling, but revolutionizing...

Simplicity and the Law

2005-10-11T03:29:00.000-07:00

I hate this book. I am faithfully reading it and will complete the work, with all the practical and written assignments that accompany it. But it bothers me through and through.

I'm in the outward disciplines now. You see, the book is divided into various disciplines, inward first. Like prayer, meditation, fasting, study...that sort of thing. Then outward disciplines...the kind you live out in your life.

Simplicity is the first outward one, and I embrace this wholeheartedly and recognize that in so many ways I've already achieved a healthy level of simplicity in my life. Simplicity isn't monasticism...it doesn't mean having to live in a cave with candles for light and blankets for warmth and varmits for friendship, although we recognize and appreciate what students are doing to bond with their homeless brothers and sisters in an attempt to love Christ more deeply.

Simplicity is an inward focus on God. When the light inside you is God, then the stuff of life that surrounds you becomes secondary. Its importance is measured by your God-wardness. Life becomes much easier because you already have determined where your heart is.

The first half of this chapter is well-written verbiage that draws healthy conclusions and challenges one to delve deeper into one's God. Foster repeats the warning that simplicity teeters on the edge of legalism and BE CAREFUL that you don't fall into that ravine!

Then, he falls. And he can't get out because he's surrounded himself with ten (TEN) rules about the outward discipline of simplicity. He writes about addictions. Shame on you with your coffee addiction, and so many people are now addicted to chocolate, colas and other terribly bad things that preoccupy your life and dim the light inside. Whatever.

His illustration is that of a young man who goes out every morning to gather and read the paper. One morning the thing is missing. The guy gets the gitters and contemplates stealing his neighbor's paper so he can get his fix. The realization that he is actually contemplating committing such a heinous crime compels him to immediately go inside and cancel his newspaper subscription. It has way too strong of a hold on him.

I'm sorry, but I think Foster has crossed the line, falling for the very thing he so adamantly warns us of initially.

Perhaps he just stepped on my toes...no walked across my chest and squeezed the very breath out of me...when he WENT THERE with coffee and chocolate.

Simplicity is really a beautiful thing because it allows you to enjoy what you have while holding onto it really loosely. For example. Yes I enjoy my motorcycle. I LOVE my motorcycle. I've put more than 10,000 miles on my SV650 and am quite proud of that. It's yellow, my happy color, and I feel totally ME when I'm riding the thing around town. I look cool, I think.

But I hold it loosely. I've even offered it to other people. They've just looked at me strangely like, "yeah right". But they should have tested the validity of my offer, they might have ridden away instead of walking away.

This really happened, you know. Beth's best friend KIMBER came to be with her in her time of need last year. To say thank you, Steve loaded up a $3,000 motorcycle sitting in the garage, and towed the thing down to Kimber in Texas. He and Beth put a big red ribbon on it, and presented it to her as a gift.

Stevie doesn't know it yet, but he's getting a superb present for graduation this year. It feels really good to hold (BIG RED) things loosely, and I've learned that I can do that because God is a trustworthy God. He supplies our needs. He's there all the time and cares about the details of our lives.

Foster, please don't tell me to wear my clothes until they fall off my back, and not to worry about what is in fashion. I LIKE to look fashionable. But I know that I may be in an accident tomorrow and loose my legs, so that all two pairs of my fashionable jeans will mean nothing to me. Simiplicity is KNOWING HOW AND WHEN TO ENJOY GOD'S GIFTS.

I know the book is a classic. Just an aversion and horrific fear of legalism, part of my dysfunctional past, I guess!

God Doesn't NEED Anything?

2005-10-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

Precursor:
Last night about midnight Beth called...crying and lost. Totally empty, she said. Do you feel that way? Well, no and I probably have never felt as empty as you because I've never found the one I thought I loved most...hanging dead in the doorway. So Steve and I held hands in the dark and prayed hard for her, and could fall back asleep knowing that she would be ok.
And she was and is! The peace of God can be tangible and awesome sometimes, I hope you've had the joy of experiencing it.

God, your creator, your universe maker, who grabbed handfuls of hot stars and dramatically slung them across a black nothingness...loves you and needs you.

My challenge question: Does God need anything?

I said as much in class last weekend. Everyone sat around the table looking really troubled when those words fell out. (I hadn't given it much thought before.) God needs us, I claimed. He needs our company...that's what motivated Him to create Adam in the first place. My colleagues challenged me, most of them anyway. Said that no, God doesn't need. He might desire, but doesn't NEED.

Ok, I backed down and just thought about it all week long. And have returned to make the same claim. Not only did He need us for fellowship/companionship at the time of creation, He NEEDED to redeem us when we made THE WRONG CHOICE. He was compelled, by His unending love, to redeem us. How is that not a need, please tell me?

I don't think for a minute that saying God needs me is incompatible with the all the other attributes that contribute to who our God is. God can have needs if He wants to...He's GOD, for god's sake.

The New Monasticism (by the way, I'm back)

2005-10-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

Ok,
Actually I'm not fixed yet. All I've done thus far is find the appropriate person to walk me through my journey. But I have hope!

More importantly in relation to you and to God's work, I've been called to continue the History of the Underground Church in specific ways, so the blog is back up.

September's issue of Christianity Today has an article that drew me in immediately. Partly due to the picture on the front cover, and the picture on the article's front page. The feature story revolves around something they're calling "The New Monasticism". I'm not going to bother to quote anything, you can read the article yourself by clicking on the link.

It's wonderful theology in action. Kids abandoning the materialism they grew up around and choosing instead to relate in full fashion with homeless communities. This is significant. They've given up important things, like make-up, hair-dryers, name brand clothes and TV, and less important things like heat.

It seems that they really began to draw into community together as the cold weather set in. Amazing what reality does to a person. I loved reading it because Jesus was all over the pages.

Think about it: He left the comfort of home and family (heaven and Father) and came to dwell among scum. Talk about culture shock. All because of the depth of His love, and look where it got him. The challenge for me was personal but not unending. I'm not ready to give up certain luxuries I deem vital to daily life. (I actually DO NOT leave the house without some makeup on, but that's for the sake of those with whom I have encounters.)

I immediately had some ideas about Omaha's Underground Church...at least it's beginnings. Not ideas, more like visions. I told Steve about my visions in the form of questions.

The thought process started with heat, reading about cold in the article and feeling warm in my house. Knowing that the price of heating our humble home is going to skyrocket along with everyone else this winter. Knowing that we're gonna stick an insert into our fireplace to make the heating process way more efficient conjured up thoughts of coziness and seeing with my mind's eye all the friends involved in the beginning of this good work of God gathered around for warm and koinonia IN MY HOUSE. And this was the vision. Starting UCO AT HOME. Why the heck not? People love the warmth and receptivity an open home offers. Especially if it's reasonably humble, and mine fits that category to a teeee.

So the question, What do you think about...blah blah blah? carefully placed to my significant other, who shares this space with me and has done so for all of his adult life. He was all for it. Not alot of space, mind you, but his thought was, simply, it can certainly have it's beginnings here.

So we'll continue to pray in those who will have a mind to do something different for God in Omaha. And we'll begin to gather at home, and pray for His leading. And I'm excited about the thoughts that swim in my head about this thing of God's, and no, I'm not bi-polar.

I love all of you.
StTrudi316

I'm Cramming and Losing the Battle...

2005-09-28T10:20:00.000-07:00

This is so not my character. Even years (and years) ago when I was an undergrad, I kept up with homework and stuff.

I have class this weekend, and have had to park at Borders for literally hours on end to read and write and play catch up. And I'm still behind.

But need a major break, and am hung up on one particular assignment that you're gonna hear about if you keep reading.

This class has required a fair amount of reading, all about me. So you'd think it'd be something I would really be enjoying, because don't we all find ourselves to be our own favorite subject?

Well anyway, one of the books I've been assigned is a familiar one to lots of folks...The Celebration of Discipline, by Foster. Perhaps if I've read it ten years ago I'd feel differently, but today, as I said before, I've reached a snag.

The assignments run like this: I am to read a chapter, then practice that particular discipline for one week and at the conclusion write a reflection paper on it. The paper includes touchy-feely stuff because our professor is trying to make us connect with ourselves, knowing FULL WELL that it doesn't usually feel good to do that!

If you're not familiar with the book, each chapter focuses on a discipline as recognized by our early church fathers. Like prayer, fasting, meditation, etc.

I think meditation was my first attempt, and since I work full time, entertain grandchildren, balance three grown and almost-grown kids plus a husband who needs to be remembered once in a while, I had absolutely no trouble whatsoever finding ample time to medidate.

Then I moved onto prayer. Please understand that I had already written a reflection paper on prayer, required even before beginning the book. I keep a prayer-journal online, have been for not quite a year, and it's been great for me. No, you can't read it. It's between me and God. (I think Satan probably could tho...hmmm)

So I couldn't justify writing another reflection paper on prayer, except that I did learn one really major thing from Foster's chapter on prayer. This was huge for me regarding PRAYER.

I've always worked hard at NOT treating prayer like my fairy godmother with her magic wand. So hard, in fact, that a large percentage of my prayers have been simply venting-type stuff without any real expectation of change or answer. But Foster's chapter on prayer challenged me to pray and ask for things with a CLEAR EXPECTATION of receiving.

Receiving what? "God, you know that I've wanted to be a card-carrying member of the Corvette club for twenty years now. I'm READY TO JOIN. MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!

Duh, well no. But how about, God I am ready to be a Pastor, please move me in that direction and MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!

Well, this is different because it's a request that assumes several things.

1. That for me to become a pastor is in keeping with His will (something I should have already sorted out before I began asking...discovering I have the appropriate tools to accomplish such a job, etc...which I did).

2. That God GAVE me the desire to become a pastor in the first place...it's not something I just came up with as a way to become rich...a calling, if you will.

3. That God WILL answer this prayer, in His time. (He is, by the way).

So in fact, because of Foster's happy little chapter on prayer, I've broadened my prayer life considerably.

I used myself as an example. But I pray similiar strong words for my children and my niece, which raises all sorts of other theological questions, but God knows (literally) I don't have all the answers. We work with what we have.

So thank you Foster.

There's another snag I need to deal with regarding this book. But I'll save it for another entry. My tailess cat wants attention now and keeps walking on my keyboard and in front of the screen. Back later.

She DID it!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-09-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

She did it! Robin was baptized yesterday afternoon in a nice warm hot tub with Dale and Sarah Brown as witnesses, in addition to me. What an awesome way to spend a Sunday afternoon, I must say. You go, Robin sister.

I asked Robin to pray for one year about moving to Omaha to help us with our Underground Church. She agreed to do that.

I need to revisit two subjects here today.

First, the topic of churches, the variety of them, the validity of the various types, and why people attend or stay away from them.

It's really hard to graft yourself into a church. I'm finally and for the first time, really, learning all about it. I've always been on the other side, you know, the firmly planted member. I've watched visitors come and go for years.

Now I'm learning what it feels like to be a visitor. It's like wearing scratchy clothes. I just can't wait to take them off...and I just can't wait to get out of there!

Lots to think about in terms of a "church home". Needing to re-create the whole model, I'm thinking.

Second, the FEAR FACTOR.

Sherbitter said she'd not mock Satan in any way.
I think that's where my mistakes began. I remember actually mocking him, out loud, repeatedly, almost to a point of drawing a line in the sand with my big toe daring him to cross it.

How could anyone, let alone Satan, resist such an opportunity? And he proceeded to reek havoc on my life and the life of my family. It was during that time that I started realizing I wasn't taking the spiritual warfare stuff seriously enough, and I did actually fear praying out loud because I felt Satan's strong attempts to mess with me and my family.

However, I also remember overcoming the praying out loud fear by reminding myself that God lives in me.

I would park outside Bonnie's house (oldest daughter, who lives in the hood in North Omaha, right between the Crypts and the Bloods)and pray over her house, her family, everything. And God honored those out loud prayers and continues to faithfully protect her. (She does occasionally duck behind the bed with the kids when she hears gunfire, but hey, who doesnt'?)

The mocking thing is serious and I need to learn to not be so flippant and so arrogant as to toy with him.

The Next Question

2005-09-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

I have to get a little personal here now, and ask what exactly it is that anonymous fears?

Thank you Sherbitter. I DO KNOW that God is all powerful...He CREATED the devil, for heaven's sake (well, not for heaven's sake) but He did it, He's done it, He's doing it, and He'll be doing it throughout eternity.

I love the James verse you referenced. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. That means, rebuke him, tell him to get lost, to leave you alone, etc.

Whatever the fear is, God isn't the author of it. He's the author, the creator of power love and soundness of thinking.

So leave the fear at the foot of the cross, tell Satan to take a hike, and get on with it.

OK, now easier said than done. I've dwelt on my particular fears so very much that they have all but consumed me. Not any more of course. :)

So that's where community comes into play. How can I pray for you?

Satan Vs God

2005-09-24T20:18:00.000-07:00

Anonymous said,

"You guys seem to know a lot about theology. Tell me what you think about my philsophy. Satan can't read your thoughts, but God can. So if you don't speak something (or write it in a blog) he won't know about it unless he can observe it in your life. Only God can read your thoughts. Does this make sense to anyone? Is it theologically correct?Thanks for your time."

I have thought tons about that very subject...how much power does Satan really have anyway? This is what I've decided to believe, for the time being.

Satan has little helpers all over the place. He and they are trained in observation. They watch us and track our movements, especially the repetitive ones. They determine our patterns and draw conclusions regarding our motives...all this based on years of tracking other humans just like us.

So, they know what makes us tick, and ticked. They know what our likes and dislikes are. Most importantly they know where we are WEAK. And when we're down, they'll kick right there in that weak spot again and again.

They have absolutely no need to read a blog to learn about us, because we're just history repeating itself.

However, I will confess that at one point in my life I was so afraid of giving Satan any hints or helps that I refused to pray out loud. I would only pray silently, not even moving my lips lest he could hear my quiet whispers.

Finally I decided I was being ridiculous and where was my faith in a God who could decide how much power to give Satan anyway?

Conclusion, I Peter 5:8: Be sober and vigilant because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

But right before that verse comes verse 7: Casting all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.

Never fear. Resist the devil because you know that God will always win. And shout your prayers to the heavens, because it's GOD who hears and answers them. Satan quivers when he is reminded of who God is.

Blogging Mess

2005-09-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

Too many blogs to read! People complain at me because I write too much, my apologies going forward.

My friend from another lifetime, Robin, is flying in from Denver; she'll be here all weekend. She's coming to see us because she has confidence in the spirituality of my husband Steve. She wants him to baptize her.

This is interesting. In all these years, more than 20, Robin has lived in Denver and surrounded herself with a life. Yet she returns to the safety and solidity she remembers in Steve, and chooses to honor him with such a request. Good and bad.

This is great from Steve's perspective. His faithfulness is demonstrated not only in the punctuation of life, but also in his personal longevity. I'm so proud of him.

But this illustrates the difficulty of building a spiritual comradery in today's society. Robin is single and while she has maintained her walk with Christ and desire to live for Him, she hasn't found a compatible "church family" to grow into.

A really big bamboo kind of plant,
growing up and making apositive
difference in it's plant world
Paul talked about this very thing in Ephesians. The church of Christ has been grafted into the true branch...Israel. Some see it differently, but I think Paul was trying to help us all understand that God was not replacing His Holy people Israel, but He was creating something new in the Church, and was grafting it into the family already in place.

Not all the promises for Israel have been fulfilled, and I believe that much of the fulfillment awaits us in the Millenium (1000 years of reigning with Christ on the earth). God primarily works through His Holy Spirit in the body of Christ, the Church today.

The church is interesting. Many of us blog away, and gather together on message boards, listening to praise and worship music and have our own sort of gathering online. It's cool that we can do this, I can meet with some neat believer in Australia. (I'm in the center of the USA).

A lot of people still nurture their faithwalk in small faith communities, but they run the risk of legalism and arrogance (we're the only right ones on the block). They end up doing themselves and the Church of Christ a disservice, missing out on many opportunities to minister because they can't see needs that come in colors different from their own.

Mega churches abound and do meet needs in big ways. Those that recognize the benefits of small groups (cell ministries, tiny home churches, whatever) are especially good because they bring in the wealth of the mega-huge (money and resources) and the wealth of the individual (talents and service).

I favor the Emerging, the Post-Modern, the Singularity church idea. But before I allow myself to embrace this, I must remember that whatever I do, I cannot be all for everyone. God will direct me to those whom I am to serve, and I will serve with great energy and all the strength He gives.

Steve and I will pastor a church together. We believe this will happen. And this church will look and feel different than some are accustomed to. But it will meet a need, fill a void, spread some light in a dark place. We will act and grow as a healthy grafted-in branch, living out the Holy Spirit in exciting ways. I can't wait.

I'm Here to Remind Myself...

2005-09-21T17:05:00.000-07:00

God CAN be trusted.

Right now, I've given my son over to Him. Why does it frighten me so? He's proven Himself faithful with the other ones over and over again...yet I'm scared out of my wits about it. Probably because Stevie is reminding me so much of where Bethany was just a few months/years ago.

Here's my guy Stephen, Sven, Yo Dude, senior in high school, rock star wannabe, (wouldn't surprise me a bit, he's got the talent)and definitely hears his own drum beat. Doesn't always march to it tho, b'cuz this generation has a massive and self-professed lazy streak, and probably won't always hear it b'cuz his ears already ring from hours of loud music in screaming in his headset.

I want to jump in, throw up roadblocks, scream NO NO NO NO NO!!!! But instead I'm going to hold my head in my hands, and just breathe. And just breathe my prayers to God continually, knowing that He IS SO FAITHFUL.

This November will be one year since Chad's death and Bethany is holding others by the hand and leading them to Christ. I believe that all three of my children will be a light in the darkness for others struggling to find their way. It will be only a matter of time, and I'm willing to not even be around to see the end. It's not about me, anyway.

Stevie, I love you, and I entrust you to our God, who has promised to keep you in the hollow of His hand.

God Loves You. Really.

2005-09-10T11:24:00.000-07:00

Don't get mad at me for promoting a denomination today. It's just that I've never experienced a group of people quite like the American Baptists. Today's link will take you to the page of ABC's National website that answers the question, "Who are we?"

I'm in Kearney, NE experiencing probably my fifth annual "Family Reunion", a gathering of all the ABC churches in the state of Nebraska. While Kearney isn't exactly central for some folks, statistically it works out pretty well. Our speaker this year is kicking butt. Jeffrey Johnson, Evangelism specialist from the home office, is blowing our socks off.

And how does Jeff define evangelism? I love this, and you'll love it too. No, it's not learning and performing a formulated system for "leading a person to Christ" from beginning to end. (Think about it. How do you even presume to know where to begin, especially if the person to whom you speak is but a new acquaintance?)But believe me, over the years I've learned TONS of Gospel Presentation, taught them to students, and used them, sometimes quite effectively.

But this definition of evangelism takes the pressure off of me and puts it back on God, where it belongs in the first place. Evangelism is, in its simplest and purest form: introducing someone to Jesus.

HEY, EVEN I CAN DO THIS!!!

You can too...

Now, the point of the God Loves You title is this: when you're introducing someone to Jesus, don't you think it's rather narcissistic to begin with the human issue of sin? Wouldn't it be far more accurate and relevant to begin with someone (something) that's been in existence since forever? Like maybe, "God loves you. Really."

Humility, or 'umblness

2005-09-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how some deep south folks like to leave the "h" off of certain words? Like, instead of saying "humble", they say "umble"; instead of "Houston", they say "ouston"? (but of course when speaking of herbs, they refer to them has "h"erbs?) Not really related there, but I always listen for the distinction in people's dialects.

Anyhoo, let me tell you what I've been learning about humility lately.

Reading yet another book, entitled "To Love as God Loves", by Roberta Bondi. Now, don't run out and try to find this thing. It's not something you'd pull off a shelf, thumb through and go, WOW, gotta read this now!. No, this is the kind you muddle through and read out of guilt. But you read it with a highlighter, because this lady can put into words the things we've perceived in life, but couldn't really put our fingers on, much less words to.

She's studied our early church fathers and mothers, and relates lots of quotes and things from them. I find it so interesting. They struggled with the same sort of crap we do. I mean, just the same. Food, sex, material stuff, money, on and on. The monks had all these simple sayings to address life issues. Not profound, but profound, if you know what I mean.

The way to Love as God Loves has to begin with humility. And this is what I learned from the book, among other good stuff: "Pride is more about thinking less of others than it is thinking more of yourself."

Isn't that fascinating? I've always thought of pride as just being boastful or better than you, or whatever. But really think about it: everytime I criticize another person, demean or put them down, I'm really just puffing out my own chest. Now, don't go off on self-esteem and all that. Stay with me here, because we want to end up on the love topic. And you can see how easily we'll get there. Humility ushers in love by recognizing worth.

Now love and humility open the doors for healthy dialogue...see where I'm going on this? (I can't write any clearer than I can think or talk, but try to follow me inspite of myself). Love says you've got something reasonable to say. You might be dead wrong and I might know it, but you still have something to say, and it's something you've probably thought about a lot and it probably means a lot to you. So I'll listen to you, and if you want to listen, I'll give you my take on it. And I'll pray for God to do His thing with the Word I've been faithful to.

Now this whole dialogue thing for me applies mostly to the context of my dream church, but I am learning to apply these things in my life today, and am finding life to be more pleasant. Because I find I don't hate everyone I meet. (not really hate, but see obvious flaws and ugliness, you know what I mean because you meet these people every day too). I can start to see these people for what they are, like me a flawed creation of a living God.

SIDEBAR
(Sharon, don't feel bad about your dialogue with idiots. See, there I go. But really, alot of them are idiots, and its possible God has called you to show them where their idiocies lie).

Communication Dynamics

2005-09-07T19:30:00.000-07:00

Compartmentalization, or "the silent treatment" works for people who have trouble communicating. They start out speaking different languages to each other simultaneously. Then get mad when the communication breaks down. On the occasions when I've found myself in those situations, I've done the compartmentalization thing. I've shut down, given up, put the whole episode in another brain file and moved on to something else. Tucked it safely away in another part of my memory to think about later. And of course, silence is the result. And that creates even more misunderstanding and anger.

It's not that I'm angry, really. It's just that it takes too much energy to sort out all the nuances and hidden meanings in the language being spoken at me. It's not my native tongue so I have to work twice as hard to understand it.

But this has alot to do with the dialogue thing that I keep harping on.

I wish we could all understand each other. All the time. Just think how many problems that would solve. Even if we disagreed with one another, at least we'd have reached a level of understanding. I've found that lots of people are reasonable...give them enough time to think about something and they might actually change their minds about it. And if not, well at least we're still TALKING.

I'm resolving to work on listening and speaking. And understanding. And asking questions. And being patient. And not trying to tell other people what they have to believe.

Love the Idea of Discussion

2005-09-07T16:16:00.000-07:00

You know, that's what the Emergent Village/Church idea is all about...talking. Dialogue, discussion, sharing viewpoints. That's already happening all over the world on message boards, blogs, forums and chat rooms. But it's also happening face-to-face over food and drink, Bibles and books.

Interesting thing is, the dialogue is borne out of a sincere desire to understand, not to win an argument. I guess that means the dialoguers have to be at least a little bit mature. (for me, I didn't stop arguing until this year, and some of you would probably argue with that!)

But if my desire is to provide a safe place for the HS to effectively work, and I truly believe that God will provide the fruit (I don't need to see any for myself), then I know dialogue-ing will work. Questions won't scare me and a lack of answers won't either.

Saw scenes of New Orleans tonite on the news. Cannot even believe it. Our scouting team hasn't returned but has called in with horrific reports. They say, don't send women down here. What does that mean? Take away the light and the darkness explodes. Still waiting for the official death toll.

All Creatures Great and Small

2005-09-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

My niece, Maria, is good. She remembers the animals. She's beautiful, highly intelligent, witty and charming. And she remembers the animals. Ria sent me a link containing lots of website options for the rescue of refugee animals from hurricane Katrina. Click on the title to see these options.

I heard a report today on Fox about the eery sounds emerging from New Orleans. Like creaking wood from homes groaning under the weight of wet wood. And dogs, barking for help.

And the RIGHT Kind of Church Is...

2005-09-06T03:39:00.000-07:00

The Bahai House of Worship in Chicago

The old Houston Rockets arena is now Lakewood Church, with seating for 16,000.
By Jessica Kourkounis, AP

Church meeting at home

I've been reading and participating (minimally) in a dialogue I stumbled upon regarding mega-churches. What made the blog comments jump out at me initially was the irrevent verbiage hurled at Andy Stanley, his gospel message, his preaching, his mega-church. While all points were substantive (except for the ignorant ones, duh) I was aghast as I scrolled through and discovered that Andy himself had entered the dialogue. This suddenly became more fun.

The fact that such discussion is taking place all over the internet is testimony to the changing face of worship and the need for new OPTIONS. I'm not just talking about placating the complainers who don't "like" or "feel comfortable" in a mega church, or a traditional church, or a high-church church. I'm talking about options for the unchurched, the overchurched, the abused-by-churched, and the ones who geniunely cannot find a way to "fit" themselves into a particular mode of worship. For whatever reasons, they MUST be the wallflowers. And Jesus embraced those wallflowers. He went out of His way to touch the wallflowers and He never condemned them for standing on the sidelines.

Let us be the creative souls we were meant to be. Let us create OPTIONS for finding God without fear of reprimand or removal from a denomination. If God created more options than pipe organs, let's enjoy and embrace those options in our worshipful experiences. And let us refrain from condemning those options that we are unfamiliar or uncomfortable with, remembering that the world is bigger than our own personal experiences thereof.

The Devil vs God

2005-09-06T03:31:00.000-07:00

Remember Joseph's wise words, often referred to as the Genesis 50:20 principle: They meant it for evil but God meant it for good?

God may not have caused the Sunami, the hurricane, the typhoon, the tornado...but He certainly allowed it. Yet in the midst of the storm, He's still there, walking out on the water to bring light, comfort and direction.

The link above is a fasinating testimony from a Jewish family who escaped the hurrican physically but lost all material possessions in the process. The article reflects a humbling attitude. Worth a read.

WWJD with this horrific tragedy in LA?

2005-09-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

This is the burning question. Yesterday I received an email asking for prayer from someone who was going to drive into the area in and around the remains of hurricane Katrina with the purpose of distributing booklets that explained the Gospel and answered the question, WHY.

I used to have that mindset. So heavenly minded, no earthly good kind of thing. Thinking that surely people will immediately begin searching for life's answers after such a tragedy.

Learned the hard way that Gospel seeds are planted through physical labor and no sleep. Buying and distributing supplies, feeding babies and wiping their little bottoms, babysitting for exhausted mothers, giving money I don't have to people who have less.

One of my colleagues in seminary is part of the scouting team going down on Sunday to the area, bringing in supplies and making intelligent determinations about how to go about providing long-term help. Glenn Williamson, pastor of the church I've been visiting, Judson Baptist. This is right up his alley, ex Air Force guy, the kind who has to unroll his sleeves to go to church (because they are already rolled up to go to work)on his HD motorcycle.

Emergent villages, churches, and communities focus on gentle ways of dialogue, answering and asking questions and getting down and dirty where the needs are. And when the HS provides opportunities for Gospel insertion, you insert it! And when He doesn't, then you pray for Him to do so! This will be Glenn's approach. I doubt the team will be taking Gospel tracts. I know they are bringing the stuff on the list I posted last night. You can't wipe a baby's butt with a heaven tract and you can't eat a book for breakfast.

Think, people!

Cohorts; Cleaning House

2005-09-03T05:42:00.000-07:00

A few posts ago I promised a picture of my firstborn.

Here she is holding Jazzy...who is at the time around 2 years old. Bonnie just spent a day and a half in the hospital getting re-hydrated. She's entered her second trimester of her third pregnancy. Angel is hoping and expecting a baby brother but the ultrasound will settle the question once and for all, in a couple of weeks.

Bonnie has taught me alot about the reason a missional approach is needed.

OK, on Cohorts...I copied this from the website linked to the title above. Please learn with me about Emerging Churches.

What are Emergent Cohorts?

...They are local/regional Learning Communities

What is a learning community?

While being a place of connection and support, an Emergent learning community (cohort) is primarily a place of communal exploration, theological and professional reflection, honest connection, and strategic collaboration. These learning communities are geared toward post-critical, constructive conversation, rather than deconstructive rants about the current state of the Church.

Why learning communities?

Local (Intrinsic)

To enhance the local participation and the grassroots nature of the emerging church conversation.
To generate new forms/ideas of the Church.
National (Extrinsic)

To identify/support a new generation of leaders.
To host regional gatherings.
How will learning communities function within Emergent?

Within the four emphases of Emergent (Explore, Belong, Resource, Communicate), cohorts have one foot firmly planted in “Belong” with the other foot dipping into “Resource” and “Explore.” Learning communities are primary space for belonging to Emergent on the local, face to face level. Beyond the books they have read or the conferences they have attended, cohorts are places where people can gather who desire to continue this conversation. Yet, the effects of these learning communities will be felt within the areas of Resource and Explore. Our hope is that these local learning communities would begin to hold larger regional events (Resource), which might showcase some of what they are reflecting upon (Explore). These types of exchanges will create a transfer of ideas from the local to national level, and will also assist in identifying and raising up a new generation of leaders.

Where will cohorts be?

...In Strategic Locations

What is a strategic location?

A metropolitan center, and/or…

fairly dense with emerging populations/churches.

fairly dense with institutions of higher education (and/or seminaries).

Why strategic locations?

Because, unfortunately, we can’t do everything everywhere. So, while our hope and eventual goal is to establish cohorts in every location, for the next 6-12 months we are focusing on larger metro centers.

We want to emphasize and encourage the development of ‘thought/practice’ leaders within the emerging church, which means these learning communities, while functioning outside of official institutions of higher education (universities and seminaries), would also work alongside and with them in metro centers.

We desire to have locations (monasteries or sanctuaries if you will) to send people who are training for ministry within the postmodern context.
So, if…

You are already in some sort of learning community or friendship (e.g., a loose network of emerging pastors, a group of seminary friends) which would like to consider collaborating with Emergent to farther your current conversation, and/or

You are in a strategic location (a major metropolitan center, or location with several emerging churches) which would benefit from the creation of this type of learning community and you would like to work toward developing a regional learning community.

Emerging Village = American Cohorts

2005-09-02T19:04:00.000-07:00

From the website describing Emergent Malaysia:
Emergent Malaysia aims to become a Christian "Learning Community." Our thrust is missional, our method conversational.

We want to bring the missional (as opposed to "maintenance") mindset back to Malaysian churches. Outward-looking, caring, willing to share/risk/suffer for the "outsiders" among us, passionate about the story of Jesus, always listening to others (and Their stories),
contemporary.

Yet we believe God prefers not to win souls through conflict, confrontation, and abrasiveness, but rather through friendship-making, dialogue, mutual learning, creative participation, and plain Loving. The means matter as much as the ends; message cannot be divorced from method.

This is, presumably, what sets Emergent Malaysia apart (though not "above") other Christ-centered groups: using conversation as a means for achieving missional targets.

It is our prayer that Emergent Malaysia will nurture Christians who put relationships above propositions, caring above speculation, and overall, a heart more persuaded about mission than metaphysics. Not only this, but Emergent Malaysia believes that a Christian in touch with contemporary culture will be--all other things being equal--a more effective kingdom child in today's world.

This is highly significant, missional friends. What a wonderful mission statement that embraces effectiveness through thoughtful dialogue and actually trusting the Holy Spirit to do what He means to do. Emergent Malaysia is unique in it's location but not in it's claim on the Gospel. The link on our title drives one to a website linking many more missional locations around the globe. But curiously, American emergents are Cohorts.

More on this.

HELP!

2005-09-02T15:08:00.000-07:00

American Baptist Churches are mobilizing help in smart ways. If you are in the Omaha area you can go buy stuff like:
Bar Soap
Waterless Sanitizing Liquid
T-Shirts (All Sizes) new & used
Underwear of all kinds packaged
Toothpaste
Toothbrushes
Baby Stuff ( Diapers, Wipes, Formula, Bottles)
Toys (Small stuffed animals, jump ropes, yo-yo, etc)
Energy bars (Example: Granola bars)
Take your loot to Benson Baptist Church on Maple Street between 2 and 4 PM on Sunday, Sept 4th.
A scouting team is going down to scope out the scenario and determine the best ways to help. They'll take this first load of goods with them. They'll return in time for convention next weekend in Kearney, and bring a report with pictures. Then, further mobilization will occur based on their reports.
Let's kick up our heels and go to Walmart. If you aren't sure, just close your eyes and imagine losing EVERYTHING YOU OWN in one day.

I Demanded a Rainbow

2005-09-01T15:22:00.000-07:00

It's funny how you can hear God without really hearing God. Like, hearing a confirmation (yes) or a door slam (no), and knowing that God just spoke to you. It might be through a circumstance or a word spoken by a friend. I know that theologians would argue that it's the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart. But in the end, who really cares? God spoke to me. He cares about me enough to talk to me!

I was talking to Bethany about this the other day. She's crying on the phone, telling me that she hates it in Abilene, that she doesn't have any friends, that God doesn't answer her prayers, that no one has gone through what she has, that everyone thinks she's loonie, that someday she's gonna lose me, and dad...it wasn't pretty.

Keep in mind she's crying and shouting and its on a cell phone so I'm trying really hard to understand all the words she's spewing. But that was the gist of it.

She summed everything up by adding what bothered her most: I've always been a magnet! Now no one wants to have anything to do with me!

It's true that she's recovering from a major castastrophic event and it colors all her behaviors.

But in spite of that, in my opinion it's the same answer I've been giving her all along...God wants you all to Himself for a while. He's a jealous God, proving that over and over. And He is jealously guarding you. I mean, He went to all the trouble to place you in this new life, don't you think He wants to get His money's worth?

So learn how to be quiet. For Beth, this doesn't mean stop talking. It means slow down and allow yourself to do nothing. Read, pray, meditate...quiet your mind. For social butterflies, no easy task. Something that you basically have to LEARN HOW TO DO.

Stevie has heard from God on a few occasions, most of them having to do with answered prayers. Bonnie has given up on God for the time being, and relies instead on her parents! (no difference when the dust settles, because her parents are just being Jesus to her). I hear from God quite regularly.

Last month on the way home from a fabulous Biennial American Baptist Convention in Denver, I demanded (and received) from God. Driving along heading east on I-80 toward a thunderstorm. You know how that is...storm on one side of the sky, sunshine on the other. God showed me a beautiful rainbow, and as I soaked it all in, another one appeared. (shadow of the first. Since I'm one to read stuff into everything and since I'd been praying all afternoon for all THREE of my kids, I saw Beth in one rainbow and Stevie in the other. But I needed one more! I needed one for Bonnie!

By now we had pulled over...Steve was renting a room in the hotel, and I positioned the van so that I had a "big sky" view of the rainbows right over a Nebraska cornfield. And I begin to humbly ask for a third rainbow. Nothing. I began to beg for a third rainbow. Nothing. I began to ask, beg, and demand a third rainbow. (It meant the most significant thing in my life...it meant that my children, all three of them, would enjoy a walk with God during this life). I HAD to have a third rainbow!

And for a split second, a third rainbow appeared.
I'm not making this story up. I saw a third rainbow. God spoke to me.

Louisiana - after Katrina

2005-08-31T07:29:00.000-07:00

What you see in this picture are tree tops...the city of New Orleans. Gov. of LA Kathleen Blanco asked for prayer for the city, the state. While we're donating money and seeking other ways to help, let us respond to her request and pray.

Counting Days

2005-08-31T05:44:00.000-07:00

I'm determined to be happy, dammit. Remember reading the book Happiness Is A Choice back in the 70's? (if you're my age, anyway). The book cover was yellow, a happy color. My motorcycle and favorite colors are yellow; I try to surround myself with sunny things. Tanning is good! Sunshine brings smiles. But is happiness really a choice? I certainly want to choose it...

I've had five good days, but can feel me sliding backwards. So analyze the situation, mark stuff on calendars and keep taking those meds.

Do you know what yesterday was? Bonnie's birthday! 24 and beautifully bad, Bonnie is struggling in a third pregnancy that is truly giving her grief. Never one to complain, Bonnie won't call unless she's on her way to the hospital. Like this morning. She called, reported being up all night throwing up so the Dr. called her into emergency to check for dehydration. She has thrown up daily now for three months, going into the second trimester. Could you please add Bonnie to your prayer list, right there next to Paul?

I still haven't told my mother that Bonnie is expecting (again). I should...mom is a prayer warrier.

Bonnie is one tough mamma, doesn't take nonsense off anyone, and will make an excellent judge one day.

I'll have a picture of the Bonster up here later today.

The sad part is that I (yes, it's about me, but it's my blog, remember) forgot my firstborn's birthday. I mean, I knew it was coming, on the calendar and all that, but hadn't really made plans. Normally we always take all three kids, any friends, and of course, the grandkids out on birthdays. Now Beth's in Abilene but Stevie was ready for a dinner out. Bonnie however, was sick. I don't think she even gave it much thought when she realized I hadn't remembered. We took the girls and fed them, brought a bag of goodies over to Bonnie later in the evening.

Forgetting a kid's birthday should send me spiraling downward into my well of depression for days. But! NO WAY. Anybody can forget a birthday, and Bonnie doesn't even care...she's too busy trying to stay hydrated. I MUST stay alert and focused so that I can help her, pray for her and be about My Father's Business. SO THERE. Today will be another good day.

Bars to Bible Studies in Abilene, TX

2005-08-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

Ok. I love my children. The middle child has relocated to Abilene, TX, where she intends to start life over again. She feels old, but many of us wonder at the marvel of being 21 again.

Beth is living with best friend Kimber. Both have seen alot more than I ever did at that age. Both have stood beside bodies rendered dead from violent crimes, waiting for police to arrive. Both have sworn faithfulness to a God who doesn't necessarily protect us from hurt, but certainly delivers us from harm. It's good, what God is doing in Abilene TX. I have stopped fearing the worst and am beginning to breathe slowly and normally again.

Residual effects, or leftovers, are a part of life. Beth's life has some serious leftovers...one of them is named Paul. Paul literally gave his life for her, for all of us, during the last eight or nine months. He's the one that moved Beth to Abilene. Now Paul and Beth, for a myriad of reasons and most of them good, aren't really talking to each other any more. Hearts are broken all the way around, and there's alot of anger in the air.

God used Paul. God looked down here and saw a man that would be faithful and reliable, someone who would go way beyond the call of duty. Paul allowed himself to be used by God, by us. But now, and perhaps justifiably so, Paul is angry.

Please, if you are a praying one, pray for Paul. Paul is a serious minded fellow who thinks deeply and often responds violently. But protects to the death those he feels responsible for. And to that end, he served God's purposes well. Paul is searching for God answers. I pray for him daily, as I pray for the rest of my kids. One day Paul will rest in his search because God will allow Himself to be found.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13

Life's about changes, Nothing ever stays the same

2005-08-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

Dilbert says, "Change is good. You go first".

Please listen to Patti Loveless' song "How can I help you say goodbye?"...a hit song she recorded well over 10 years ago but is timeless.

There's humor, excitement, sadness, sweaty palms, tears, extreme joy and above all, GOD in all of change. Yet the irony of it all is that HE NEVER CHANGES. God remains faithful and trustworthy all the while leading us down incredibly scary paths.

Michael Hilliard wrote a review on The Village, a thriller movie I watched last night. Check out the link, and rent the movie.
Ivy, played magnificently by Bryce Dallas Howard, is a blind girl living within a small rural community, who falls for the quiet but curious, Lucious (Joaquin Phoenix). As a rule, the villagers must not venture past the border separating them from Covington woods, as the woods do not belong to them. In the woods lurks a race of mythical creatures, known only as “those we do not speak of” with whom the villagers have forged a truce. In exchange for not entering the woods, the people of the village will come to no harm. Of course, rules are made to be broken, and when Lucious decides to test the boundaries of this strange truce, the creatures respond accordingly.

Now remember, Ivy is BLIND. And when Lucious (her hearstopping love since childhood) is critically injured, she asks for and receives permission from her father (leader of the clan) to pass through Covington Woods. Pass-through is necessary in order to reach the towns and obtain lifesaving medicine for her love. She stumbles along in cold damp weather, trusting completely in her father's spoken directions. Sure enough, she makes it through to the other side and back again. The miracle is in the journey. There's much more to the story, which is why you must see it, but you must also see it to experience the blind woman's journey. You can't help but think about your faith-walk, your own personal journey with God. You'll relate to those feelings that come with not being able to see your own feet in front of you. Especially when she falls...Oh, sorry. I don't want to give too much away. Rent the movie and listen to Patti's song.

The Calling

2005-08-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

Fr. Jerry M.Orbos wrote down some interesting observations about how God goes about "calling" people in an editorial on February 8th of 2004. I'm going to put a handful of his words here...

"It is interesting to note that in today's Gospel (Lk. 15:1-11) Jesus called His disciples not from the crowd but from those who were in the periphery, those caught in between making a living and living a life. Apparently, they were not religious or exemplary by worldly standards, but Jesus caught sight of them. He saw something in them. He saw their potentials. He saw their hearts. It is very consoling to know that our God is a God with a heart, who sees our hearts with his heart. Let us thank Him with all our hearts, for He sees the goodness, the potential in each one of us, and He never gives up on us".

Then,

"God's call is not exclusive. We who are called should also call others, as Simon called his partners in the other boat to help them haul in the large amount of fish that they caught at Jesus' word. The more, the happier, and the better. If you are someone who is burdened by all the work and the saving that have to be done in the world, think again. You are not alone. It is God's work. He will help you. Allow others to help, too".

I would add that not only is His call not exclusive, it is totally inclusive. Some would insist that birth itself is a call to recognize and follow a creator. God calls us not just to salvation, but to discipleship, to friendship, to relationship, to a "ship" that binds us to Him for life WITH PURPOSE. He calls us to walk with Him, grow with Him, in order to build up His body, work with Him for His creation, and be His light in a darkened world.

Growing up in an evangelistic fundamental and theologically conservative group, I found it difficult to tolerate those who would dare to cross the theological lines I drew in the sand. It's only been of late that God has begun to broaden my tiny little spiritual world through others who belong to Him, but sure don't walk or talk like me. People whom He called and who have responded positively to His love. People who've grabbed brothers and sisters as they walked and hauled them along to meet the Messiah. This is so cool, because they were "called" as well. And these people may initially follow Jesus (God) for purposes other than receiving eternal life as the ultimate end result. These people might really just be concerned with the preservation of planet earth, or protecting abused children, or providing homes for the homeless. Whatever, they begin as "disciples", and end up as "believers". This to me is VERY COOL.

I mean, think about it. Jesus called working men to follow Him. They really didn't know who the heck He was, but they just dropped their phones and walked away from their desks in obedience. OBEDIENCE! They weren't going because they'd learned the seven steps of salvation! They were going because He commanded respect and they responded. Somewhere down the line and through the process, they moved beyond the realm of obedient followers to actual BELIEVERS. And that's when the fun began.

Where does the fun begin for you or me? I would guess when we decide to walk away from what we've been chasing all our lives and start following a King...

Coming Clean

2005-08-24T05:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, I've been seriously flogged for my comments regarding Eminem. I still stand by my opinion of his "talent" but sadly most of us can't get past his nastiness...which perhaps ought to be factored into the "talent" consideration. Because surely some aspect of "talent" is being able to discern the needs and likes/dislikes of your audience? At any rate, I probably lingered too long over the troubled part of his psyche...which I am guilty of on way too many occasions.

Woke up at 5:15 AM two mornings ago and received an up-close-and-personal accoustic concert provided by son and friends. Stevie and Andrew had been up all night playing music and I reaped the benefits of hours of practice over my morning coffee. Both guys can play and I knew I was listening to the next Jimmy Buffet and Eric Clapton (or Phil Keaggy, if you feel the need to categorize secular and christian). These are the guys willing to provide awesome music for Omaha's first real Underground Church. I am humbled.

Began an entry yesterday describing the pain I perceive from living with a disease called depression. Lost the entire dialogue through a computer tantrum and assumed God didn't want me writing the truest depths of my feelings, so I'm trying it again but won't go quite so deep. Yes, I could have blamed it on Satan or just the computer, but if you know me, you know that I just love to spiritualize everything. I've struggled with survival as long as I can remember. Having come face to face with death and life, I know better than to play around with the stuff. People are perishable, and incredibly fragile. Whether or not I know or love them, I want to hurt no one. So shut up and put up! (Advice to self). But here's how the whole thing works:

On a normal day (I have at least three of these per month), I am happy about drawing breath. I have ideas, goals, objectives. Things I want to accomplish for the day, the week, the month, for my life. I know and feel God's calling to service. I can specifically identify my talents and ways to use them. Yes! Life is good, God is good, all might not be well in the world but I'm up to the task of tackling what isn't.
Now, my husband experiences these kinds of days almost always. And I think that some of my friends do too. I've learned to fake it (perhaps they have too) and act as though I'm thrilled about stuff. But reality is like a fog in London, slowly eating away at the good stuff. And reality for me is this: I am walking my four miles in 50 minutes, pounding the payment with low-impact aerobics, listening to whatever uplifting music I can find in my headset, and thinking about ways to keep wanting to breathe. I mean, that's what I'm actually praying about and thinking about: God help me keep wanting to breathe.

If you have this disease, you know EXACTLY what I'm describing. God bless Tom Cruise for wanting to dismiss depression as tho' it were diabetes and could be cured with proper eating habits. Stay on your meds and find someone with whom you can be completely honest and accountable to. This is imperative.

The big D comes into play regarding the UCO. What am I doing to facilitate the movement toward reality for Omaha's missional congregation? Well, today I am breathing. Step in the right direction, for me anyway. I feel like I described myself well in my last job interview (got the job by the way) when I said something like, "I am often perceived to be a leader because I can speak clearly and communicate well regarding spiritual things. However, I'm really not a leader; I'm a follower, an encourager, a team member, a Barnabas. I need a Paul to trudge behind." Steve is my Paul, not because he's my husband but because he is the smartest person I've ever met and the most trustworthy. Steve has been used of God to bring the dead back to life. Steve loves God immeasurably. And he understands my struggles, at least a little bit. I have to be a follower because I can't always depend upon myself to lead. If I didn't have the big D, I probably would be a good leader.

I've stopped asking God to take D away. He's said no so many times that I figured, enough already. Just deal with it. And I'm coming clean here and now. If things about me have frustrated you in the past, maybe it's because I'm a sick puppy. If you can relate to me, you've found a friend. If you think I'm a fluke because I haven't started our church yet, please don't give up on me. It's still there, still in my heart, still in the heart of the God I serve. And it will come to fruition.

Wish I Could Rap

2005-08-11T03:37:00.000-07:00

Didn't realize that rappers are so intelligent...rap music and rapping in general is just one of those things that I throw into a "I want no part of that" box, shove it into a corner under the basement stairs and let it gather cobwebs. Two nights ago, however, I unpacked the box. After prompting by Paul and listening to Eminem music on the way home from Abliene, I rented 8 Mile and loved every minute of it (except for the incessant raw language). Really nothing more than another way for communicating ideas, thoughts and feelings, lots of naked emotion, and a tool for (healthy?) venting. Rapping also utilizes shock - saying unexpected things, things that let the rapper see the whites of his audience's eyes.

But if you want to rap, you do have to be reasonably smart, in my opinion. And you have to have something to say. Rappers write lyrics for stuff they record, but they especially pride themselves on their ability to shoot from the hip the verbiage they wish to fire on unsuspecting audiences. I was reminded of this yesterday in a job interview that I later withdrew from (because God, faithful as always, provided me with employment right out of the clear blue sky, without so much as an interview. I start Monday...just like Him, but I'll probably never learn).

Anyhow, this was my second interview with an excellent stockbrokerage company (Ameritrade, based in Omaha). I clearly made an impression of some kind with the first two recruiters, now I was meeting with the HR director of the company (he'd been out on vacation last week).

Greg surprised me. He's a short smiling African American with beautiful white teeth, and I was expecting a typical tall white swedish looking guy. Friendly to a fault, he lead me to his office where I immediately began interviewing him. He loved it and couldn't stop talking about himself. He really had something to say! He was his favorite subject! And if I were him, I'd probably feel the same way. The guy has about 15 different jobs going on simultaneously and each one gets 100% of his energies. But the one I was most interested in had nothing to do with Ameritrade except what might inadvertently spill over into the work place. Greg is a stand up comedian. And he raps!

Greg definitely had something to say, and for the better part of an hour he talked about himself and the job as it related to him. Now, I've had employers just like Greg, and I knew I could tolerate Greg as long as he had CLEAR expectations about me. I got a few words in here and there, but didn't try too hard. He was happy, however, so as I left I indicated interest in further pursuit of the position.

I drove away thinking not about working at Ameritrade but about what kind of rapper I might make. I decided that I could only rap about one subject...God. I have friends who are extremely well-read and can handle multiple subjects that are tough for me; they intimidate me without meaning to. I bet they could rap about political issues and positions, health-related subjects and relevant best-sellers. Not me. I love to listen to such topics but rarely have anything terribly intelligent to contribute. Get me going on God however, and I might get on a soapbox.

I know this to be true because I love to preach. "Preach", for lack of a better word. When I preach, I talk easily in front of people with a significant amount of authority that I usually attribute to the Holy Spirit. Preaching isn't the same as rapping, because when you preach you usually pause for breath between sentences. I know this is true, because I've used quiet pauses quite effectively. But in rapping, a pause means you've either forgotten where you were going with a train of thought, or you've run out of words to say about a subject, or (God-forbid), you've choked.

I'm preaching this Sunday at a small church in Iowa, and my sermon topic is Paul's letter to Philemon. I've filled the pulpit at this church before, and know that it's a very traditional place, with older congregants. Even if I could rap, I won't, at least not too much. These folks enjoy a slower paced conversation, punctuated with quiet pauses. I'll also use shock - tastefully, anyway, because I do prefer to preach to audiences whose eyes are least open. :)

So Good is God

2005-08-04T04:26:00.000-07:00

The Barbarian Way
Reading alot, and listening to alot of music. God keeps speaking and teaching. Does He ever sleep? No matter where I am, He's right there with me.

A Prayer from Psalm 23

O God, You are our Protector, therefore we won’t be needing high walls.
Your gentle hands remove all evidence of anxiety and fear.
We rest.
You quiet our hearts and minds with lovely music of Your own design.
We sleep.
You fill us up with peace.

Because of who You are, You walk ahead of us, beside us and behind us.
You keep light on our path.
We can keep going because of You.

Death and dying surround us.
But still Your light shines brightly, and we move on.
You keep reminding us that we aren’t taking this journey alone.

We are hungry and You feed us, extravagantly!
And for all the world to see!
You make your high opinion of us obvious to those who would question our worth.

We explode with gratitude!
Thank You Father!

Forever, which we cannot even fathom, we will enjoy Your favor and relax in Your presence.

Your house will become our home.
Amen

His closeness is relevent to me because Abilene, TX is a long way from Omaha, NE. Paul Monestero and I drove Bethany and all her trappings to TX this past weekend. Spent a brief night in a motel, unloaded her stuff, bought her more stuff, and left her there. Drove all night heading home, something Paul could handle, being young and all. If you're over 40, DON'T DO THIS.

Theology on Tap - What a "Postmodern" Idea!

2005-07-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

You have to read this brief news article about a pastor in Prattville, AL who is bringing church to the dechurched (his own word to describe people who don't go to church ANYMORE). Rev. Rick Mason is holding up the Word in a local watering hole three evenings a month...it'll be interesting to follow the results.
Thanks to Sharon H for sending this my way.

More good stuff comes to us from the voiz.
http://thevoiz.typepad.com/
Written by Aaron Flores in partial fulfillment of his graduate pursuits, it's lengthy but good. I'm sure he'd appreciate any comments.

Tried to visit the Postmodern service down at the local Lutheran Church in North O tonight, but alas! They had a Christian country music artist crooning on the grass of the east lawn. I passed on that one...we've got some decent country music stations I can grab any ole time.

Leaving tomorrow to transport Beth down to Abilene, TX, home of true country music. Will keep all eyes open for missional, emerging opportunities, and for Divine Appointments as well.
Blessings,
Trudi

PostModernism, or is it PostModernity? Do I Care?

2005-07-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

fabulous photo shot entitled Red Sky by Rick Lundh

Sam Blair writes a compelling article on the Ooze entitled: Why Be PostModern? In it he attempts to examine the benefits and difficulties of labeling oneself or one's "church" as postmodern, because of the overarching connotations attached. In so doing he helps to clarify and define postmodernism in a readable form...I highly recommend a read of his article. You can find it by clicking on the title above...
Sam says..."It is true that postmodernism’s denial of any overarching Truth runs directly counter to any and every creed in Christian orthodoxy. Postmodernism cannot be wholly subsumed into Christianity for this reason as well as others."
True, but whatever all the other elements of a postmodernist persuasion?
"However, various aspects of pomo thought, when taken less dogmatically, have been very useful in the development of emerging theology. Qualitative changes advocated in the emergent church in regards to how the modern church handles authority, worship, and community are clear examples of areas where postmodern thought has entered into discussion in a positive way. Furthermore, postmodernism has provided an intellectual counterbalance to authoritarianism and dogmatism, which tends to rear its ugly head in the church more often than not. It has allowed us as leaders, followers, or merely observers of the emerging church to open our minds to new ways of doing and new patterns of being by allowing the conversation to be open to all, not just the elite."
Trudi loves these impactive statements because they cut to the core of reality...what brings someone into a traditional church setting, and what sends them packing, never to return.
"However, I do not believe that the Christian community can jump on the train, because I don’t believe that the destination is one where we would like to find ourselves. Postmodernism, at its core, advocates individuality, dissention, and suspicion rather than community. As our body continues to fracture more and more, what is called for is unity rather than separation. Also, while postmodernism has raised our attention to the marginalized voices in our conversation, it has done so typically by silencing and illegitimating the voices in the mainstream, voices that deserved to be heard as well. The emerging church can ill afford to bar anyone from the discussion, as we must humbly admit that we are all merely travelers on the road, and that all travelers will help us to our destination."
Sam, the average postmodernist out there doesn't necessarily bear an awareness of his postmodernity. He's another traveler, probably with lots of stickers on his suitcase, or in our postmodern world, tattoos reminescient of other lives lived. I do embrace your thinking beyond postmodern, however, because why should we always teeter on the cutting edge? Why can't we decide where the edge is for ourselves, and create a path for others to follow? I'm with you there.
Trudi

Emergent Churches in Omaha?

2005-07-26T05:22:00.000-07:00

The other day Steve noticed a service for postmoderns at an old, well-established Lutheran Church in North O. On the signage out front, the list of oppotunities reads: tradition service (date and time), blended service (date and time), contemporary service (date and time), and postmodern service (date and time)! We'll be visiting the service this week and I'll provide a full report. I've also received some names of area pastors who are interested in establishing a missional-type service in Omaha, and plan to connect up. Our plan to attend hatched some great conversation about missional, emergent churches. Steve asks such good questions, like he's making me think things through from all sides and preparing me for questions that will ultimately be asked by somebody somewhere. Our most recent conversation was quite intriquing and I'll throw it out here in another post shortly.

Am happily doing a pulpit fill for an ABC church in Iowa on August 14th. And how about that interview yesterday?

Have you ever taken "Treacherous action to defeat or hinder a cause or an endeavor;"...or caused "deliberate subversion?" Yes, I sab·o·taged my interview, sitting there in the chair facing two nice ladies, knowing full well what I was doing, and doing it anyway. It was the weirdest thing, like an out-of-body experience, almost. Except that I wasn't up on the ceiling looking down on the three of us. I think the problem with me is that I have a very strong background in Human Resources and know the whole interview game thoroughly from both sides. And knowing exactly what they wanted and needed to hear, but deciding early on that I didn't want to give that to them, because for whatever reason, I didn't want to spend the next few years of my life from 8 - 5 working there. It's not that I deliberately lied or anything, it's more just the opposite. I was incredibly candid. And you can NEVER be candid in an interview. People can't handle the truth about you right up front like that. They need to receive just bits and pieces of the awful truth as you build your relationship with them, AFTER they've hired you.
Anyhow, if there was someone who prayed for me, and now you're mad that you wasted time praying, please know that you didn't waste your time. Even as I answered questions, I was praying and pleading with God. If anything, I was frustrated with Him, because He had removed my muzzle and freed me to answer candidly. So, your prayers were answered. Please don't stop praying for me, I really need it.
Now the funny thing in all this is that they gave me homework. They really did. They sent me home with three assignments, a proofreading page, an excel spreadsheet from which to pull information, and finally, I'm to write an agency overview based on their website.
Normally I'd jump at the chance to do these things because I know my work will shine. But I don't think even my great work will tip the scales in my favor enough for them to call me back (although stranger things have happened), and if they did call me back, I'd have to GO back, just out of obligation, to interview with other team members and go through the whole thing again.
Steve says I should do the assignments and not "sabotage" anything. But he wasn't in there in that room yesterday.

It has finally rained in Omaha.It's been hovering around 105 lately, which forced everyone off the streets and into airconditioning. No one has died from the heat yet like they do in Chicago, but our homeless shelters have been collecting and giving away fans like Bud Lights. The rain will cool things down immensely and we thank our heavenly Father, who brings the rain on the just and the unjust.

Job Interview on Monday

2005-07-23T06:52:00.000-07:00

Ok, I just learned how to attach links, so I'll be playing with this feature for a while. If you know me and pray for me, you can pray for my interview with this nonprofit on Monday, 3 PM. They are looking for a grant writer.
Gracias

The Emerging Church an Ethical Dilemma?

2005-07-23T06:31:00.000-07:00

Read and watch some excellent basic information on emergent churches in the United States and the dialog surrounding them. Most you who glance at this blog from time to time are people I know, dragging along backgrounds that are mostly non-emerging. This cover story and it's Part 2 counterpart will serve to answer some basic questions about emerging churches; but raise a whole lot more.

To Personal Issues...

Learn how to have fun? PLEEEAAAZZE. Fun is for the kingdom. Read the Sermon on the Mount. "Blessed are those who MOURN!" You, my dear, have your work cut out for you...I'm still stuck in a very rigid ironclad box on that one. Please release me, let me go!

Me

I'm Sorry

2005-07-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

I really am. I know that I've been a rhino crashing through the brush at 35 miles an hour with terrible eyesight. I know that I've crashed in on the lives of countless people who didn't deserve my weight.

No, I'm not having a melancholy moment. It's just that in the last 15 years or so, I've discovered life. It's painful, messy, cluttered and confusing. And really not that much fun.

I realize this today, but I didn't when I was a rhino crashing. My crashing just made someone's miserable life more miserable. So, if at some point in life I crashed all over you, I'm truly sorry. And for what it's worth, I've been working hard at not crashing in that manner any more.

Brighter Notes: I met with our Executive Minister for Nebraska yesterday regarding The Underground Church. She was thoughtful, positive, affirming and helpful. She gave me some good things to chew on, which I'll urp up from time to time right here. I plan to meet monthly with her to maintain some human contact and let her and myself know that this isn't just another one of my hairbrained ideas floating like a fart in the wind.

Am so enjoying Donald Miller's book, Searching for God Knows What. When you've finished the sixth Harry Potter and feel in the mood for nonfiction, give it a try.

Why Underground? We're not in China...

2005-07-20T03:48:00.000-07:00

Why an Underground Church?

I've only participated in one other "church plant" in my life, and I don't remember discussing demographics or target audiences. However, UCO, as my friend Sharon referred to it, is targeting a very specific audience in Omaha.

I had a hunch there were "some people" out there who were relatively young, highly musical (everything they did during the day was accompanied by music with lyrics) and who rejected traditional, conventional, liturgical church settings.

The audience was confirmed by members of the same, who are self-described as an "underground culture, built around music".

The group is huge and widespread, not just in Omaha. They are linked primarily by similar musical interests, but also by understated life philosophies. They are intelligent, reasonably motivated, searching, peaceful without the demonstrations, and emotionally broken.

They struggle with parental divorces, all kinds of abuse, all kinds of addictions, and are highly communicative, primarily online. You can find their blogs and dialogs all over the internet, if you search. They are not afraid to die, and are killing themselves in alarming numbers to escape the pain.

This is the demographic God is driving me to. It's not an audience bound by geography, these people get where they need to by fast car or motorcycle, bus or on foot. It is an audience marked by risk-taking. And that's the most frightening part.

This is my target audience, hence the name "Underground Church". We'll meet in a neutral location, and be drawn together by music with painful and searching themes. We'll attempt to find God in it all, and we'll redirect the energy of pain into hope and light for others.

This is the Underground Church of Omaha, NE.

Come to Jesus

2005-07-19T04:08:00.000-07:00

I have to record some verbiage I read last night in David Crowder's book, Praise Habit, Finding God in Sunsets and Sushi. It follows.

To follow Jesus doesn't remove us from the stuff of life. It is not resolution. It is tension and journey. 1 John 2:6 states, "Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did". Jesus was in the world, engaged, alive, involved, making a difference. To follow Him, we must do the same.

His prayer for us in John 17 is "Not that you take them out of the world..." and "As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world".

This is what God has done for us. He has come into our condition. He has come to bring us back. He has come and embraced us. He has come and covered us in Himself.

Watch this Christ. Watch as He is accused of being a drunkard, of associating with tax collectors. Watch as He brings healing to the afflicted, love to prostitutes, forgiveness to sinners. Watch as He climbs the hill bearing His destruction on His back. Watch as blood and water flow. Watch as salvation comes to us all. Watch as glory ascends to come again.

Watch and fall in love with a God who does not resolve, whose rescue is never-ending. Whose prayer is that you would be that rescue.

Who sent you to be that rescue.

Be courageous. Even as you stand there hiding in the bushes, shaking to the bottom of your toes, frightened of what's to follow, what consequences will come of it, know that evil will not prevail. That you are not alone. That you bring the kingdom of God and there is hope.

There is hope always.

And others will walk out of dark places and see you standing there, arms outstretched, given completely to this hope.

And therein lies the mission of the Underground Church: to stand with arms outstretched, ready to provide rescue to those who walk out of dark places.

2005-07-18T06:13:00.000-07:00

As long as Asa lived, he was completely faithful to the LORD.

How cool is that? I Kings 15 records a testimony about Asa, who was King of Judah for some 40 years. He took charge of the place and really cleaned things up.

He was smart. He found peaceful ways to protect his people. He thought things through and acted appropriately. A good example for me. And anyone else who might read his story and feel prompted by the Holy Spirit to make a personal application.

Today I will begin the progress of church building by requesting an audience with Susan Gillies, the Nebraska Region Executive Minister. I'll do nothing more without her guidance and approval. To this point, I've rambled, shared and prayed like crazy, and received lots of super imput from friends.

I'm trusting that God will provide me with oversight and guidance through the leadership and knowledge of our region staff.

More to follow.

Cool photo by Denise Applewhite

2005-07-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes silent is best.

Searching for a new "day" church, within the family of ABC. Not a easy task, but one common denominator seems inherent: ABC (American Baptist Church) people are good folk.

People ask me what my plans are regarding church. Sometimes it's best not to mention the burning desire to begin a church; when I do, immediately they feel threatened as if my church would somehow rob them of what they've labored so diligently for.

Not so. The Underground Church will be targeting an undergroung subculture in Omaha that is identified primarily by certain music and lifestyle choices. The Underground Church will someday exist for folks who can't stomach being in a traditional conventional Sunday morning type church.

Beth and Bonnie came to church today. Bonnie burped quietly during the Pastoral prayer. Beth sang a duet with me. Both were treasured by me and God.

2005-07-16T13:52:00.000-07:00

The pot article is there...nothing much. Remember, it was a class assignment...I HAD to write it! Feel free to shoot me dead in my tracks, or at the very least, show me how wrong and stupid I really am.

I want to get back on target with the Underground Church.

In the last two days, I've:

1. Prayed hard out loud. Cried and prayed. Asked God about when things get better for those I love, because hardness seems to go on and on.

2. Remembered that Job went through practically a lifetime of suffering, and watching his family suffer (and die). But Job decided that when he was tried by God, he'd go ahead and come out of it like a chunk of polished GOLD. And his family did too.

3. Met and talked with numerous people about the Underground church God wants to begin in Omaha. Where are the team members? I'm begging Him to show me. He probably already has, but I've lost their card somewhere in the van.

4. Found my first donor for the Underground Church Project. Actually, she found me. :)

5. Spent a day and a night with two of my favorite people camping in 95 degree heat. Had a blast, but highly prefer home.

2005-07-15T05:37:00.000-07:00

Marijuana: pot, herb, weed, grass, widow, ganja, hash…
Illegal and/or Unlawful?

Last weekend my 17 year old son hugged me goodbye as I prepared to head out for a convention in another state. Don’t have any big parties at the house while I’m gone, ok?
He called me while a small one was in progress. A handful of friends, about 10 of them, sat around playing guitars and harmonicas and bongos. In a few hours, he said, they’d head downtown to play on street corners. Make lots of cash.

As an aging baby boomer and wannabe hippie of the past, I embraced the eclectic and peaceful lifestyle my son and his friends were drawn to. Truth be told, I envied their present reality. One whole side of my brain seems stuck in a pacifist pursuit of personal peace, which was, at one time in my life, nurtured happily along with pot.

Yes, it’s true. I inhaled. Not only that, I rolled, toked, shared, even baked, and occasionally sold. For about a year I lovingly guarded a collection of “paraphernalia” needed for my habit. Now, when weather is warm and my windows are down, I’ll sniff the air for that sweet-sour tangy fragrance unique to marijuana.

My husband, God’s gift of balance to me, has no idea what I’m talking about. It smells like the bell peppers your Italian grandmother roasts on top of the stove, I explain. He just looks at me because as he well knows and constantly reminds me, identifying with the smell is only one tiny element of a highly questionable, not to mention, illegal practice.

FACTS?

According to the NIDA (National Institute on Drug Abuse) the main active chemical in marijuana is THC (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol). Membranes of certain nerve cells in the brain contain protein receptors that bind to THC. Once in place, THC kicks off a series of cellular reactions that ultimately lead to the high users experience when they smoke marijuana. 1(NIDA Info Facts: Marijuana, 3/04).

What are the components of that high? Users feel incredibly peaceful, relaxed, carefree; as if floating on a cloud. They experience a heightened sensory awareness; some report suddenly noticing how tight their shoes are tied, or how strange it feels to shove their hands in their pockets. Most significantly, there is no associated nausea, unlike alcohol or other harder street drugs. And, there is no major “downer”. Instead, as the high diminishes, one gets hungry (the munchies) and sleepy. No hangover follows, and no real “physical addiction” has been empirically documented.

Only God could have created such a wonderful impairment drug. Perhaps there’ll be pot in heaven?

What about health-related risks associated with smoking marijuana? According to the NIDA, regular use of pot offers a variety of negative effects on the brain, heart, and lungs. Difficulty in thinking and problem-solving, higher risk of heart attack, increased risk of developing a variety of related cancers, just to name a few. And these don’t include impairment of the immune system’s ability to fight infectious diseases.

WHY NOT?

Health questions aside, are there other reasons why I shouldn’t smoke pot?

First and especially related to teens, the use of marijuana has been clearly linked to truancy, low self esteem and delinquent behaviors. Marijuana can be addictive, if not strictest physical sense, at least psychologically. According to the National Association of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Directors, Inc., in 2002, more than 280,000 people entering drug treatment programs reported marijuana as their primary drug of abuse, indicating that they sought and took the drug compulsively.2 (An Analysis of State Alcohol and Drug Abuse Profile Data, July 1997.)

Second, long-term users tend to show signs of a lack of motivation (amotivational syndrome). They no longer have the desire to develop and pursue goals, feel tired a lot and stop caring about personal hygiene. This explains the drop in grades for teens and students. Kids that might normally have high aspirations and career goals instead become peacefully engaged in floating on clouds.

Third, and perhaps the one reason that could end an argument completely, the use of marijuana is illegal. The law tells me that possession and/or use with possession of marijuana is illegal, is considered a misdemeanor in my state (Nebraska), and if caught breaking the law I could be subject to some stiff fines and penalties.

FAULTY REASONING?

In Nebraska, speeding while driving is also illegal. If caught speeding, I’ll be subject to some stiff fines and penalties. I can’t afford many more penalties, so I have to be really watchful when I’m speeding. Or, I can just choose to slow down. There are certain times when I choose to break the law in this regard. For example, when a family member had an accident, I flew to the scene. Many laws were broken that night. I justified the breaking of them by convincing myself that I HAD to be at the scene of the accident RIGHT NOW. Since there have been times in my life when my arrival on a scene really did affect the outcome, I’ll probably continue to weigh the outcome against the posted speed in order to determine whether or not to break the laws of traffic.

SOMETIMES A GOOD THING?

The use of marijuana falls into a similar category when one considers its use related to medicinal good. My father died an incredibly painful death and drank Morphine right out of the bottle, a big ole’ Jack Daniel’s Whiskey-type bottle. Had marijuana been legal, he’d have smoked it like a chimney. Still, for dad, it was illegal, unlawful, and even unthinkable.
If I get cancer, the painful variety, I’m quite certain I’ll want a backyard full of pot to smoke until I die. In that hypothetical, assuming Marijuana possession/use is still against the law, it will be illegal for me, but not unlawful. I guess I think that that pot falls into one of those categories that might be best managed on an individual basis, even if it is against the law. I’ll strongly discourage my son from smoking pot, but I’ll also strongly discourage him from drinking alcohol, even after he’s 21. And I’ve learned that I can maintain my pursuit of peace not only for myself, but for others, with a head that is still somewhat motivated, and a heart that isn’t burdened by unlawful behaviors.

2005-07-15T05:23:00.000-07:00

If you really want to read an article about the right or wrong of pot use, from my point of view, then go ahead and bore yourself to death.

But be sure to leave me a comment and argue a little bit. I'm mostly wrong about most things, and am begging to be set straight.

On to the purpose of this blog...the Underground Church...I have a possible location just south of downtown, in an old Mexican restaurant. Vivaci's has a huge room and they are highly supportive of God things. I'll be calling them and will give updates.

However, my biggest concern is that of partners. I need partners in this attempt at ministry.
If you're reading this and would like to partner with me, let me know. You don't have to live in Omaha to be a partner, although Omaha people would be very helpful.

Prayerfully join the endeavor.

Trudi

2005-07-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

I promised my pot article, and it'll be up in a little bit. Feel free to disagree. My friend Sharon compared the use of pot to speeding while driving. I laughed out loud because I've ridden with you, my dear and you don't speed. But you have confessed to other risky business that I won't mention here for fear of serious consequence.

2005-07-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

Applied for four social service positions this morning...two grant writing options, one assistant director for the Chicano Awareness Center in Omaha, (but I'm not bi-lingual and noted that in my resume), and a position as an Outreach Coordinator for the Aids Project.
I noticed that I can't return to a ConAgra Corporate kind of thing...because I can't live with myself doing that any more. I just feel that there is too much to do, too much suffering and trouble, and too little time and people to help out. No choice.

How do you feel about Pot?

I'll publich my article on Pot here in a few days...am writing one for my Ethics Ministry Class. Yep, the Ethics of Pot Smoking! What ethical questions could possibly arise out of that, especially since it's illegal, so it's settled. If only all of life were so easy...

But this morning, Stevie told me the truth. His boss is chilling in jail because a SWAT team came to his house yesterday and arrested him for a bag of pot in the bedroom. The two kids, Stevie's friends, are home alone, because mom committed herself yesterday after two of her patients died (she's an RN at a local hospital).

Stevie was afraid to tell me because of what his dad or I would say. This is a time where we jump in and help, we don't judge. Stevie will call the kids and find out how comfortable they'll be with letting us get involved in some way.

God gives us DA's all the time. My brothers and sisters in The Second Mile Riders 9a division of the Christian Motorcyclists Association in Omaha) are always on the lookout for Divine Appointments. I love that about them. Well, here's one and we'll see how far we can take the Goodness of God.

Trudi

2005-07-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

Ruled out the old Historic Coffee house as a meeting place today...in the Old Market of Omaha where we used to go hang out, drink coffee and play loud games of chess. Noticed that the Joslin Castle is looking for renters, and wondered out loud about that one to Steve. How cool it would be to have church in a castle! I'll actually make a call on it.

When I mentioned to Beth today at the pool that we might have to put a Parental Advisory sign on the front door of the Underground Church, she thought that was cool. Not because all things cool need such a warning sign, but because some things toting such warnings actually have very powerful messages. But we miss the messages because they are protected by the warning signs.

When I mentioned to Steve that we might have to put a Parental Advisory sign on the front door of the Underground Church, he rolled his eyes at me, then studied me with one raised eyebrow. I know that look, and told him to trust me.

Felt totally inadequate today regarding this whole project. Driving down the road listening to Sarah MacLachlan, then Hootie, wondering who do I think I am that I could even try to pull this off. Pull into the Wednesday Night car show, and find Beth's truck. Don't bother her, just share her pain for a few short minutes. Too inhibited to get out of the van and walk around, acting like I care about all the cars on display.

Head for home and remember that it's not about me one iota. It's what God wants to do, and if He wants to use me to pull something together, I'd darn well better not get in the way. And I'd better never forget that He gets the credit, because it IS all about Him.

2005-07-13T04:05:00.000-07:00

Where were we?

At the ripe old age of about 13 I pointed each of my family members to Christ. A whole lot of good stuff had already been planted in each of their lives by other good God helpers, but I can tell you that I had no choice; I was compelled by God to encourage each one, one by one, to consider the trustworthiness of God.

Then, it was on to friends and strangers. Probably some of this, no, more than some, probably a great deal, was borne out of guilt, because living just south of the Bible belt, alot of their guilt slipped southward due to gravity. And it spilled out on me living in Florida. Nevertheless the actions I took and choices I made shaped the me today. And the me today is still driven to point others to God, at least the others who are searching for God (knows what). But the me today isn't driven in part due to guilt. Free! (But that's another story).

I'm a Bible College graduate. People asked me, what are you going to do with a Bible College degree anyway? They asked me that because I was living just south of the Bible belt, and in that general location, women were not and still are not, permitted to lead people who are very much beyond the diaper stage.

And people that age really don't need teachers with Bible College educations because they usually only hear one or two words of an entire sentence. And the words are key words like, cookie, potty, Barney, nap, kitty. They don't really hear the words about God, Jesus, creation, prayer. They do hear the word love, but love has to be said at exactly the same time they are receiving a big hug and some kisses, so that the word and the good feeling are tied together.

It's not that people that size aren't important; they are HUGELY IMPORTANT! It's just that I didn't really need a Bible College education to help those people along. So what are you going to do with a Bible College education anyway?

How could I shape into words that I knew I was called, since a young thing, to point people to the One they were searching for? Because a person called by God to point people to God were usually called "pastor" and there was no way a woman was going to be a pastor. Not living south of the Bible belt.

Ok, now the depression years. Not the early 20th century, when people had a geniunely good reason to be depressed, having lost their entire life savings and being forced to live on watery soup from local soup kitchens. But my depression years had to do with feeling inside that I was called by God, but being told on the outside that I wasn't fit to be called because I didn't have the appropriate hardware. Lots of years of depression, but God took care of me because He gave me a husband who validated me regardless of my hardware or lack thereof. And he gave me children, and they have given me grandchildren. And they have filled up my life with things other than myself.

My husband is also called of God. He IS a pastor, has been a pastor, and continues to be a pastor. He is most wonderful in every way. He has saved lives, in many ways. He has saved my life, and the life of my children, at various times. He is my (our) hero. And he has been an encourager and a pointer to God for me. He has taught me that I really did need my Bible College education, because now I am in seminary, and I am sailing through seminary because of my strong Bible College education. And my seminary education is equipping me to live out my calling. Finally. My calling.

God has brought us to Somewhere in Middle America (Omaha). A city in the middle of some really big cornfields. Funny thing is, this city is really getting big. Just under one million, to be fairly accurate. And there are alot of searching people in Omaha...I've met some of them.

They won't go to church, at least not your conventional church. They've either been wounded badly in church, or have really hard religious badgrounds (not a typo) that have sent them running in the other direction, or they have no idea what church is supposed to look or feel like, but the thought of sitting in "God's House" totally freaks them out and they won't do it.

But they do go to other things. And these other things have shapes and forms and accompaniments. So God pointed out to me that if I brought some of the familiar shapes and forms and accompaniments to bear at a "church" that wasn't a church, and also invite God in, the searching people might meet Him there. This is not to say that God wouldn't already be there, because He allows Himself to be found all over the place. But I'm talking about a formal invitation..."God, please join us and make your presence known" kind of thing.

So, to pull it all together, God has freed me to follow His call in my life, by driving me to start some kind of unconventional church in the middle of America, a church that might provide some kind of God Answers to people who are searching for Him without even realizing it. And that will be the birthing of the Omaha Underground Church.

More to come,
Trudi

2005-07-12T19:11:00.000-07:00

Just trying to follow the leader. It was a fun game when you were a little kid, and you never really did mind not leading all the time, because when you weren't leading, you weren't always having to think about where you were going. You could just trust your leader, and run along behind the others, jumping over whatever. The challenge came when you knew you HAD to outlast the others, and you usually did because you were driven. Didn't know that then. This turned out to be great practice for trusting. Unfortunately, you became too trusting, and it burned you badly later on in life.

Leading became fun, though. Because you knew you could always come up with something a little bit better, little more fun, more entertaining, more challenging. The others eventually dropped out but you could play the game all by yourself. Imagine, Follow the Leader, and you are the leader, and you are imagining that all these other kids are running behind you somewhere. Crazy.

God in the heart since the day I first noticed it beating out of my chest. Not understanding what I was hearing, but definitely hearing something. Outside alot, wanting to be closer to God, closer than family and tv allowed inside. God calling me, and God cornering me when I was just a kid, teaching Himself to me and I learned, boy did I learn. I trusted, because I'd already had good practice at trusting.

And as a kid, I got busy about my Father's business. Not in any conventional ways, mind you. But just knowing that there was stuff out there that you couldn't wrap your fingers around; stuff that outlasted dead bodies; stuff that maybe had to do with stars and galaxies and things, that stuff made me believe, no other way to put it. AND, I was driven to point God out to others.

Still driven, so much so today, that I am not allowed to let much time at all go by without thinking, praying, rethinking, repraying, and talking about the church that God wants to give birth to, in Omaha, Nebraska.

"Somewhere in MIDDLE AMERICA". So you'd better turn your ticket in, says crow boy, but I think that's because he doesn't know Omaha. I'll tell you all about it and the baby that's going to be born, in blogs to come.

Trudi